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So some poor socialite by the name of J. David Enright IV is actually suing the Catholic Church for $5 million dollars, claiming that his molestation by a priest when he was seven led to him being gay. Now, contrary to the slew of jokes we often make to our Catholic friends, there's absolutely nothing funny about a priest taking advantage of a seven-year-old boy. Nor is there anything remotely comedic about that boy growing into a man who, over 40 years later, is still dealing with the trauma.

But if you can sue because the whole ordeal made you gay, what's next? Are you going to sue the Pet Shop Boys? Amstel Light? The entire cast of Laguna Beach?

Unholy Way to Turn Gay [NYP]