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We feel your pain. It's just been sitting there, a few smidges of ink on the front of yesterday's front page and whole spurts more across two full inside pages, and you know that to be a good, informed, interested person you really, really ought to read the whole enormous Judy Miller takeout.

It's the official, received wisdom of what the Times says happened, and, alongside, there's also Judy's own take on what happened, and yet it's now Monday afternoon, and you finished the rest of the Sunday paper, and most of today's, and you just can't bring yourself to actually read the damned thing.

This, we realize, is why Bill Gates invented AutoSummarize. Don Van Natta, Adam Liptak, and Clifford J. Levy have 5,900 words in yesterday's paper, and Miller's got 3,600 more, and, while all that verbiage says a lot, the even more interesting part is what it doesn't say. So, herewith, the Times's 9,500 words, cleanly reduced by Bill G. to a mere 180.

Read 'em quick, and then move on to all the postgame hole-poking — which is much more interesting, anyway. Indeed, we think the first graf of the first summary — "Ms. Miller should have written Valerie Plame. Ms. Miller denied it" — and the last line of the second one — "'It's Scooter Libby'" — tell the whole tale. But the full, unabridged AutoSummaries are after the jump, with the requisite peanut-gallery analysis.

"The Miller Case: A Notebook, A Cause, a Jail Cell and a Deal," in 12 sentences:

Ms. Miller should have written Valerie Plame. Ms. Miller denied it.

Ms. Miller authorized Mr. Abrams to talk to Mr. Libby's lawyer, Joseph A. Tate. That raised a potential conflict for Ms. Miller. "I want to represent Judy Miller."

The Times did not tell its readers that Mr. Libby was Ms. Miller's source until Sept. 30, in an article about Ms. Miller's release from jail.

Ms. Miller said the publisher's support was invaluable. Three days later, Ms. Miller heard from Mr. Libby.

Ms. Miller said she was persuaded. Ms. Miller said she then "cross-examined" Mr. Libby. (Video From Miller's Speech)

The Times incurred millions of dollars in legal fees in Ms. Miller's case.

"My Four Hours Testifying in the Federal Grand Jury Room," in 11 sentences:

My notes do not show that Mr. Libby identified Mr. Wilson's wife by name.

The First Libby Meeting

The Second Libby Meeting

Did Mr. Libby explain this request? Mr. Fitzgerald asked.

Mr. Fitzgerald asked me whether Mr. Libby had mentioned nepotism. Mr. Fitzgerald asked if I had discussed classified information with Mr. Libby.

The Third Libby Conversation

Mr. Libby's Letter

Mr. Fitzgerald asked.

"It's Scooter Libby."

And the commentary:

• Miller turned in her own account late. [NYO]
• Jurkowitz has ten examples of why factors leading to Miller fiasco are like factors leading to Blair fiasco. [Boston Phoenix]
• It's merely a modified, limited hangout. [CJR Daily]
• At least, Keller owes readers an apology. [E&P]
• Sulzberger hopes this messiness is now behind them. [WSJ]

Yeah, good luck with that, Pinch.

The Miller Case: A Notebook, a Cause, a Jail Cell and a Deal [NYT]
My Four Hours Testifying in the Federal Grand Jury Room [NYT]