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Frank Bruni eviscerates the swollen Tribeca eatery Ninja today (and rightfully so — having been there, we find it unimaginable that this venue is permitted to exist) and declares, "For a toddler with a trust fund and a yen for udon and maki, Ninja might be a valid alternative to the Jekyll and Hyde restaurant." Okay, so Frank's not a fan of the joint, either. But how much does he hate the "dreary subterranean labyrinth?" When describing the ninja servers' repetitive ninja catcalls, he writes:

I grew so weary of these syllables that I asked if they could be varied, if something along the lines of a "Surrender, Dorothy!" could be thrown into the mix. I was dead serious.

We suppose this means that Frank Bruni would rather be caught sporting his ruby red slippers than subjected to another trip back?

Yelping Warriors, and Rocks in the Broth [NYT]