This image was lost some time after publication.

The LA Times ran its first article on Girls Gone Wild impresario Joe Francis' videotaped forced humiliation and blackmail attempt today. And while they tiptoe around the more colorful and battery-operated assault details, one crucial, huge relief of a fact does emerge:

The intruder forced Francis to lie on his bed with his pants down, then switched on a video camera and is heard on the tape saying, "I'm not a fag, but I am going to make the owner of Girls Gone Wild look like a fag. I am going to put this on the Internet and make money." The video lasts only a few minutes, long enough for Francis to identify himself and mumble that he enjoys anal sex. He made the statement, the police report details, fearing for his life. Police say no sexual assault occurred.

Francis will no doubt be scarred for life by the events described. But he can take some solace in knowing that if forced sodomy should rear its ugly head in any of his post-traumatic nightmares, it can immediately be dismissed as merely the whimsical embellishment of a superego rebelling against years of looking the other way while the id begged drunk co-eds to show it their breasts.