The jury has delivered their verdict in the Anand Jon Alexander model-raping case. With a mindblowing 23 counts of rape and sexual assault filed against him in L.A. County Superior Court, Jon was found guilty of 16 of them. WaxWord reports:

John Cusack is suing Intermedia Film Equities USA for breach of contract in the amount of $5.6 million, after production was canceled on his upcoming film Stopping Power. Originally scheduled to shoot in Germany, Cusack signed on to star after Intermedia guaranteed him a "pay or play" fixed compensation of $4.5 million, along with an additional $50,000 to cover the cost of Cusack's staff while on location. $50,000? Who knew Lane Meyer was so high maintenance? Fortunately, we here at Defamer were able to get our hands on a top secret copy of Cusack's rider. We break down exactly where that $50K would've gone after the jump.

Welcome to Hollywood, kid! Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky's meteoric trajectory from no-name Long Islander to Golden Globe-nominated movie star struck its inevitable litigation point Tuesday, when her former managers sued her and her mother for a cut of her earnings from the 2007 hit. Margaret Karaszek and Michael Ostrowski allege they're entitled to a "standard 20 percent cut for helping Blonsky land the role," reports Newsday, which adds that Blonksy nabbed the part of Tracy Turnblad six months after her contract expired with the partners. They say the Blonskys verbally re-upped for two years; a judge, meanwhile declined the Blonsky request to dismiss the case on the grounds that Karaszek and Ostrowski aren't entitled to anything without agent licenses. We give them one week to a settlement, which we predict Blonsky will obligingly pay off by working just one more summer at her old Cold Stone Creamery in Great Neck. [Newsday via People]

The 24 hours since Wesley Snipes's three-year prison sentence for tax evasion have allowed for some perspective-gathering among the crack legal analysts at Defamer HQ. Sifting through the wreckage, we think we've discovered the key weak spots in the Snipes defense that, if only someone had acted sooner, could have kept our 18th (19th?) favorite action star a free man. Don't let this happen to you; follow the jump for a glimpse at the Chuck Norris factor and other Achilles' heels in Snipes's strategy.

"Misunderstood" John Cusack fan Emily Leatherman was arrested Sunday outside the actor's home for violating the restraining order Cusack obtained in 2006 that stipulated she stay at least 500 feet away from him. Leatherman, who at the time explained that her actions were less about stalking Cusack and more about seeking his help to convince the police they should investigate her claim that she was drugged and raped in 2001, had taken a cab to Cusack's but couldn't pay the fare — a rom-com set-up if we ever saw one! But instead of covering the charge and then having Leatherman pay him back over a lengthy period of time (during which their improbable encounter would surely blossom into love and a satisfying marriage held in a taxi), the actor flagged down cops who had responded to the situation and told them the following: bitch crazy!

Hulk-offspring Nick Hogan has been charged with drunk driving the night he crashed his Supra, severely injuring friend and recent Iraq War veteran John Graziano, while a rep for Hogan defends his client by pointing out that Graziano had no seatbelt on. This story is almost as much fun as the Lane Garrison one, just with 1980s wrestling stars instead of high school co-eds and blow! [TMZ, TMZ]

In a development that was about as hard to see coming as an SUV swerving down a Santa Monica street following an all-night, rehab-erasing bender, the trio of hostages—who will heretofore be known as the Denali Three—claiming to have been in the vehicle with Lindsay Lohan during the high-speed chase that resulted in her DUI arrest are now threatening to sue the actress over the psychologically scarring experience. At a press conference this afternoon, the lawyer who helped the victims reinterpret their trauma as actionable offenses announced the grounds for a potential suit. Reports Access Hollywood:

You might think that a person who's made a living as a comedienne might have a sense of humor about making an unauthorized cameo as a part-time janitor in an adult bookstore on a popular primetime cartoon series, but, of course, you would be so very, very wrong. A lawsuit filed yesterday reveals that Carol Burnett is suing Fox for the impressive variety of slights Family Guy writers managed to cram into a throwaway gag that lasts just a few seconds—they're nothing if not ruthlessly efficient in their kitchen-sink approach to comedy—on a recent episode of the series, like the misappropriation of her Charwoman character (kids, ask your grandparents!) and her show's theme song, and for turning her signature ear-tugging into something predictably filthy. The cost of Family Guy's "Hey, look, it's Carol Burnett cleaning up after some messy onanists!" bit, if her lawyers get what they want? Over $6 million. Please take a moment to review the above clip of the episode to be better informed about the offenses cited in this explosive legal proceeding.

Earlier today, Paris Hilton took the next step in her slow march towards Celebutard Justice, which will inevitably end with the blindfolded Lady herself stepping off her courtroom pedestal, putting down her Swarovski-crystal-encrusted sword and scales to issue a slap to the heiress's wrist, then giddily texting best girlfriend Mercy, "OMG! I just touched Paris! I could die!" on her marble Sidekick, as Hilton was finally charged with a DUI stemming from her ill-fated In-N-Out run of early September. Hilton, of course, has been so profoundly affected by the unfortunate incident that she urged her publicist to pass along appropriate expressions of remorse and shame:

If you were a filmmaker involved in a barroom brawl that resulted in your being arrested on third-degree assault and fourth-degree sexual assault charges, you really couldn't have wished for a better weekend for such embarrassing shenanigans to occur. While Mel Gibson distracted the media with his tequila-enabled thoughts on sugar-titted law enforcement officials (and that somewhat less quotable stuff about Jews and wars) , The House of Sand and Fog director Vadim Perelman found himself accused of alcohol-fueled fisticuffs and unwelcome assgrabbery in Norwalk, Connecticut. Reports Greenwich Time The Advocate, Norwalk Edition:

With intoxicated, faded stars like Daniel Baldwin and Haley Joel Osment recently hogging all the celebrity DUI news, we'd begun to lose hope that we'd ever see a $20-million-per-picture-quality name on the police blotter again. But like any good savior, Mel Gibson ignored our lack of faith and came through for us during a crisis of belief by throwing down a few too many last night and tearing around Malibu at "excessively fast speed," a boozy joy ride that earned him a misdemeanor charge and a $5,000 bond. Thank you, Mel. It's just nice to know that we still have someone we can believe in when we are beset on all sides by lesser Baldwins and former child actors.

The producers of Crash are suing one another again, this time over what one faction of the team believes to be the misleading promotion of the forthcoming Lifetime TV series Angela's Eyes. The LAT reports that Alpha Crashers Paul Haggis, Mark Harris, and Bobby Moresco feel that producers Cathy Shulman and Tom Nunan are deceiving the housebound female Lifetime-watching public by billing their new series as from "the producers of the Academy Award-winning movie Crash", and are willing to sue to stop the opportunistic treachery of a somewhat misleading credit:

It had been so long since we'd heard anything about the Cameron Diaz "Sexy" Photos Trial, in which Diaz and photographer John Rutter sued each other over what were perhaps the least erotic seminude images of a pre-fame, A-list star ever taken, that we'd almost forgotten the whole situation ever happened. (We fear that the part of our brain responsible for storing the memory of Diaz perking up her nipples with a can of freon might have been damaged in the process of erasing the Fred Durst "touch my balls and my ass" incident.) But today comes news that a judge (does our justice system ever seem swifter than when punishing those who seek to expose celebrity naughtyparts to the public?) has piled on "an undisclosed amount in statutory damages" for Diaz's civil against Rutter, who's currently serving a jail term in connection with the earlier criminal case and undoubtedly lamenting his tragic involvement in what are probably proving to be the most expensive B-cups in Hollywood history.

Not a month after Brad Renfro was splashed across the front page of the LA Times being cuffed and arrested for attempting to buy heroin off a downtown corner, 1970s pop idol and longtime substance abuser Leif Garrett's even more unflattering mugshot is featured in their pages after the authorities picked him up for chasing the very same dragon:

Let it not be said the wheels of New Mexico justice turn slowly, though a fair case could be made for them turning stupidly. Not a week after slapping David Letterman with a restraining order, telling him to stay at least three yards away from a deranged fan from the Southwestern state, the same judge has reversed his decision:

The LAPD clearly wanted to get into the "night before Christmas" layoff spirit so popular lately with the studios around town, but with nary a publicity or comedy development department to ravage, what is a municipal law enforcement organization to do? How about something as easy as shooting some fish shooting up in a barrel, and nabbing yourself a celebrity in the process?!

Celebrity Clemency-Seeking Month continues with this report of Ethan Hawke sending an impassioned e-mail to acting Gov. Richard J. Codey of New Jersey to commute the sentence of a friend of his family who shot a police officer boyfriend to death in 1986, allegedly in self-defense:

David Letterman is no stranger to psycho fan obsession; something about his twitchy, sarcastic demeanor beckons them like a silent dog whistle. But a recent incident involving a deranged fan in New Mexico who claims she was being personally tormented by Letterman through coded on-air behavior had an usual outcome: it was Letterman himself who was served with the restraining order.

The LAT reports that the man accused of extorting pioneering drunken Spring Break exhibitionist documentarian, Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, was ordered to stand trial after a preliminary hearing yesterday. The Times sums up the apparent irony of the trial efficiently:

With the season of holiday parties upon us, you may notice an increase in sobriety checkpoints on the road. Should you find yourself in the mortifying situation of being stopped after having had one too many, remain calm and cooperative. Alternately, you can choose the route Lost's Michelle Rodriguez opted for upon her recent DUI arrest angrily requesting to have the officer blow your brains out: