If anything was going to come between us and our beloved Wonkette, we always knew it would be a man. And so we're both entirely distraught and, deep down, not at all surprised, that she's trying to take Anderson Cooper away from us. So, though we're ashamed she brought her readers this news before we brought it to ours, we'll just steal her writeup and remind her that, when all's said and done, he's not on her team, anyway.*

(* By which, of course, we mean the Nationals. Yeah, that's it. Because he's a New Yorker, not a Washingtonian. So he's gotta be a Yankees fan. That's all we're saying.)

Herewith, Wonk's attempt to steal our man:

The Many Moods of Anderson Cooper
Who among us does not delight in Anderson Cooper's breezy-yet-caring columns for not-gay-at-all Details magazine, thoughtfully reprinted on CNN.com? He writes on Katrina, on going gray, on his brother's suicide and on being a Jeopardy champion — each month we are reminded the multitudes that Anderson contains. Multitudes of experiences and emotions but only two facial expressions:

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Of course, around here, "Talking sex with Mom" would also have the sad face. If not the run-screaming-from-the-room face.

Or even the why-are-you-talking-to-our-sister-about-this-instead-of-us face.

Anderson Cooper Commentary [CNN via Wonkette]