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• It's the mother of all conspiracy theories: did Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck sign a secret deal with Starbucks to be constantly photographed by paparazzi while holding their venti white mochas? It's so evil, we're inclined to believe it. Lord knows the Olsens signed that contract ages ago. [Lowdown]
• Nick Lachey may have found out that his split from Jessica Simpson was about to be made public courtesy of Simpson's rep Rob Shuter, but he may still come out on top: The couple didn't sign a prenup. Kevin Federline would be proud. [Page Six]
• The world continues to turn on star journo Bob Woodward; now John Belushi's widow, who encouraged friends to aid Woodward in writing her husband's biography, says she regrets the choice and is assembling a book full of anti-Woodward sentiments. [R&M]
• Judith Regan's PR director, Paul Crichton, quit and has all but disappeared after being questioned about unauthorized spending. We also hear he's changed his cell phone number, but we don't suppose that'll deter Regan from the scent of his blood. [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson may not be the biological father of his two children. See? It's NOT incest. [Scoop]