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It's Friday — a cold, wet, gross Friday, even — and you know what that means. Not snow nor sleet nor an overwhelming urge to stop forcing ourselves to look at these fucked-up hipsters can keep us from our appointed mockery. Yup, it's time for Joey Arak and Blue States Lose, wherein we sort through the galleries at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you don't have to. Then we bring you our 10 favorites each Friday. Enjoy.

Guess what? For the second week in a row, no Misshapes photos. Did the photographer's eyes finally explode? We can't say, but no worries, because The Cobrasnake was headed to Misshapes to pick up the slack. But wait a minute! We also heard a rumor that Misshapes's billing of an appearance by The Cobrasnake was just a ruse. Our spy tells us that 'Snake was in fact in L.A., and had "prot g s" taking pictures for him at Luke & Leroy. We're not sure what this means for society, but we'd put it somewhere between slavery and that time when we killed the fuck out of all those Japs. Still, though, we wish Misshapes luck at its brand-new venue, Don Hill's. You may remember it from that time you were 18 and had no ID and were looking for a place to get wasted before nuking some ramen back at the dorms. But enough of that. On to our Last Night's Party Blog Moment of the Week, this time an oldie that we just discovered. From this post on November 25, we quote: "I ended up having my first one on one conversation with Michael T tonight about age and vibrancy while he was powdering his face near the bathroom. As he was talking, I realized that I was attracted to him."

10) Last Night's Party. Robitussin photo #2527: You know what's weird? If you would've told us that there's a dude out there who snagged a classic 90210 shirt and was rocking it with one of those old-school spandex-like cyclist hats, we would've thought he'd look amazing. But nope, total dickwad. Somehow this guy blew the easiest assignment in the world.

9) The Cobrasnake. Leroy Mistakes photo #7541: If only we could travel back in time, all the way back to that historic night during the spring of 1775 when Paul Revere mounted his horse to make that famous ride. We'd fire up our laptop, and after he got over the whole "What is this Devil's machine?!" thing, we'd show him this picture. He'd take a good, long look. He'd probably even put his face up reeeeeeeeeeal close to the monitor. After about 20 awkward sentences, he'd drop back in his seat, let out a "Huh" and finally say, "Wait a second... I'm supposed to warn people about these diarrheafaces? Fuck it, I'm going to bed." Then we all wouldn't have had to learn that stupid fucking Longfellow poem in elementary school, now would we?

8) The Cobrasnake. Welcome Paper photo #0502: There's something so precious about this, right? Like, your first instinct is to say to yourself, "Well, maybe Hitler was kinda right," (not outloud of course, you save the straight-up racist shit for your inner monologue), but after a few more seconds you're just like, "Wait, no, no chance. This dude is way too fucking adorable. Hey Mercedes-Benz, spare this one's grandparents, please."

7): The Cobrasnake. Leroy Mistakes photo #7580: This week we made a bit of a stir with our "Are You a Hipster?" quiz. In our description of the "Hipster Messiah" (perfect score of 25 points), we said, "You own more than one headband." We apologize for the mistake. What we should have said was, "You own more than one headband, or at least you pair your sole hideous and retarded one with leopard print, a mullet, and underwear even the TJ Maxx buyers were like, 'uh-uh,' too." The Blue States Lose staff regrets the error.

6) The Cobrasnake. God's Gang Bang Bang photo #1142: They always say that nothing embarrassing you do ever goes away, because Google is the best private investigator around. That's why this girl's lucky that she chose to mask her identity. Because if she didn't, you just know that 15 years from now her kids would dig it up and print it out, and be full of so many questions, like, "Why is mommy touching the strange scary rainbow man?" And her only excuse would have been "Well, children... he was rich." And that just wouldn't be the right lesson to impart in the leaders of tomorrow.

5) Last Night's Party. Goldfrapp photo #1845: Wonder if this kid will be screwed up. Hmmmmmmmmmm, nah.

4) Last Night's Party. Amanda photo #2172: Just in case he falls off the face of the Earth, slips through a wormhole, and winds up plopping down in the ooze of his own self-involved bizarro dimension, he's obviously gotta make sure that his pretty little head stays afloat. You have to sandbag just in case the levee's break, right?

3) The Cobrasnake. Welcome Paper photo #0700: A lot of people think our favorite targets are One-half Nelson (see #4) or Leotard Fantastic (see any image shown during the introductory PowerPoint presentation upon your arrival in Hell). But that's not true. In fact, it's Andrew Andrew. Why? Well, it's because even if Leotard is pulling down a 9 for his outfit, and Andrew Andrew is really only clocking in at a 7, like here, that still gives the picture an automatic 14. You're getting double the douche in everything that they do. And then you have all the comedic circumstances surrounding the nightly planning of their outfit, when one turns to the other, strokes his chin and asks, "Wait, wait, wait... should we do the flip-tops and oversized beads?" and the other replies, "Brother: you've done it again. We are Andrew Andrew!" And then they do the fiercest robot dance seen since their last robot dance. We're curious to know more about the ridiculous nature of these fucktwits, beyond their appearance on VH1's Celebrity Pets Unleashed. Paper, quick, give them that 8-page spread we know you're considering.

2) Ambrel, Rated X Panty Party photo #1142: Look, there's a time for jokes and there's a time to be serious. Usually it's all fun and games around here, but now we need to just cut the bullshit and lay it all out there: If you want to see Blackface Jesus's ungodly dick, this is your lucky day.

1) Last Night's Party. Amanda photo #2309: We like this "honesty is the best policy" thing, so we'll tell you exactly what to expect with this one. On the other end of this link is a man, possibly homosexual, wearing white gloves with the fingers cut off. He's got dark-tinted sunglasses with rhinestones on them. He's wearing various shades of pink, with some pink hair exposed under his white hoodie. He also has a white ribbon hanging down from his neck. OK, we've told absolutely no joke there, no funny business at all, but click on the link anyway and try not to dump a gallon of piss in your pantaloons. See how easy this job is? We're just reporters. George Will could do this shit while keeping one hand firmly affixed on his nutsack.