A French mathematician has developed a formula to explain the "hipster paradox," the process by which "hipster" nonconformists tend to end up looking the same. Nobody understands what this math guy is saying because everyone calls hipsters fauxhemians now. A wasted mind.

Neo-nazi hipsters. How long before they make the jump from Heidelberg to Williamsburg?

Remember 2007? You don't have to, because it's still happening. Celebrate Terry Richardson's New York cover story and Dov Charney's expulsion from American Apparel with all your favorite episodes of Blue States Lose. A time capsule into the worst year in human history!

Jimmy Kimmel pulled a Jimmy Kimmel on hipster South by Southwest Music Festival attendees, sending a reporter out to ask them what they thought about some really obscure bands you probably haven't heard of. Because they don't exist.

Have you been going through life concerned that the music you listen to just might not be cool enough? Well, wonder no more! The good people at Priceonomics have you covered.

What is your city's Williamsburg? What's its hippest—or formerly hippest—or sometimes just youngest—neighborhood, the one with the art galleries and the boutiques and the lines for brunch? (And what, for that matter, is its Bushwick, or "Next Williamsburg"?) If you don't know off the top of your head, don't worry. We do, thanks to the collective knowledge of Gawker readers.

Known to fans as Mr. Incredibeard, San Francisco native Isaiah Webb promises fellow beard enthusiasts one new beard style every Monday — or "Monbeardday," as he obviously calls it.

What is the "hipster?" What does he or she do, and look like? Where does the hipster lurk? Intrepid journalists have spent years tracking hipsters in their natural habitats of Brooklyn and "the internet." Now, hipsters have been tracked all the way to the frontiers of St. Louis.

New York's upper crust is struggling with the age-old existential question, “Do I have an affair, get a divorce or get a downtown apartment?”

Nathaniel Troy Maye and Tiwanna Tenise Thomason stole thousands of identities. And they might have gotten away with it, had it not been for a Morton's steak with macaroni and cheese, a meal so perfect and delectable it just had to be photographed and turned into food porn. It just had to be uploaded to Maye's Instagram account, uploaded with the perfect caption: "Morton's."

And speaking of hipsters, Jimmy Kimmel took his popular Lie Witness News segment on the road to Coachella, where he had some fun with the local fauna by asking them their thoughts on bands "so obscure that they do not exist."

Yesterday, when Williamsburg revealed its designs for the old Domino sugar factory site, people marveled at the gleaming new towers planned for the waterfront, or, more specifically, the giant gaping holes planned inside them. If solid buildings were the past, empty space-buildings are the future. Everything seemed very cool and neat and, at the end of the day, who doesn't love sugar so what were we talking about?

The Sunday Styles section of the New York Times exists to make folks mad, to be sure (and to sell handbag ads), but it is not really worth getting mad about this past weekend's paired section-front irritants—a profile of BuzzFeed editor-in-chief Ben Smith, and a trend piece about people forsaking Brooklyn to hipsterize towns in the Hudson Valley—at least not at face value. Each hits the obvious flabbergasting or infuriating notes as it is designed to: OMG LOL BuzzFeed b/w Aren't Hipsters Awful. As far as the intentional content goes, there's nothing to do but roll one's eyes and move on. Let's go ahead and do that, shall we? First BuzzFeedBen:

The well-worn cliche is that there is a Starbucks practically everywhere.

A coffeeshop in San Francisco has just posted a list of rules for patrons wishing to drink coffee in its alley, an exclusive alley available only on weekends or whenever you wander down the alley.

Generally speaking, no mischief perpetrated by teenagers is "news." Teenagers not perpetrating mischief is news. This is because—no matter what race, creed, nationality, or socioeconomic stratum they come from—teenagers are punks. Do not, however, tell this to the New York Times. They have a very incisive sociological story to write.

Chadwick John Dillon is not your average knight. For one thing, he's not a knight at all.

Sophia Anderson is 21 years old. She lives in Brooklyn. She works as a waitress. That's right: hipster alert. Big time. And just like your average hipster, Sophia Anderson drove a red Mercedes-Benz CLK 320 into a house on Long Island last night.

It's been more than a year since the Japanese tusnami caused a meltdown at the Fukushima nuclear plant and the clean-up continues. But a bit of background radiation has not stopped a crew of Japanese hipsters from doing their hip business in the area. They've formed the "Gamma Watch Squadron," the world's coolest nuclear watchdogs.

According to Utah Senator Orrin Hatch, "President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for the hipster fedora and a double skim latte." Fair enough. [tips hipster fedora and raises double skim latte toward Hatch in recognition]