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The Times's Sharon Waxman reports that Chris Rock will not be hosting the Academy Awards this year. Okay, so maybe Rock didn't bring the funny last year like we expected him to, but for the love of all things retarded, the part where he made fun of Jude Law causing Sean Penn to jump to Law's defense was freaking hilarious: "I would like to address our host's question of 'Who is Jude Law?' Jude Law is one of our finest actors who — " We're giggling too hard to keep typing. Let's just keep going. Waxman writes:

The decision not to go with Mr. Rock leaves a small pool of other likely candidates, among them Billy Crystal, Steve Martin and Whoopi Goldberg, all former Oscar hosts. Whoever takes the job does so after a year in which the industry has been shaken by a declining box office, and when no one movie is expected to dominate the awards.

Among the movies considered likely to win major nominations are "Brokeback Mountain," starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger; "Munich," starring Eric Bana; "Walk the Line," starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon; and "Memoirs of a Geisha," starring Ziyi Zhang.


Oh, good God almighty. You know what that means: Billy Crystal wears a cheongsam in the opening monologue, doesn't have the balls to make any good butt-sex jokes, "hijinx" ensue.

After Mixed Reviews, Rock Will Not Return as Oscar Host [NYT]