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• Divorce is never easy, and it's certainly less so when the couple is also battling for the public's favor. Polls of People and Star magazines' readers reveal that most blame Jessica Simpson for her breakup with Nick Lachey, leading Simpson's publicist Rob Shuter to allegedly plant all sorts of nasty items about Lachey in the gossip columns — including a big one yesterday. [Lowdown]
• A Church of Scientology's alternative medicine consultant is facing indictment for fraud, grand theft, and malpractice. Shocking, we know, but it's not her fault — she was only OT III and clearly didn't know what she was doing. [Page Six]
• Bill Clinton makes a videotaped appearance at Elton John's bachelorette party. The man just can't stay away from the feminine types. [Gatecrasher]
• Scarlett Johansson thinks director Woody Allen is obsessed with her love life because he's married and wants to live vicariously. Yeah, sweetie, that's it. [Scoop (last item)]