This image was lost some time after publication.

Never one to let the march of progress pass him or his aspiring rap career by, Kevin Federline has launched his very own website, or, as he puts it, "I figured it was time to be a puttin' my pitchers on that there calculatin' machine." Much like its namesake, the site at the time of posting appears not to be working; luckily the AP offers a description of what you would typically see:

The Web site begins with an introduction of Federline rapping, "Keep messin' with my family and you're through," played over various tabloid articles about the couple.


Eventually, the screen dissipates to announce: "Now that I have your full attention, never judge a book by its cover." This is followed by, "I'm coming 2006."

In a note on the Web site, Federline says he hopes "this will provide you with the opportunity to get to know who I really am."

Take that as a word of warning, California Child Welfare Services you keep messin' with K-Fed's abandoned infant and you're through! We must admit, we may have indeed judged "a book by its cover," assuming there wasn't much more to Britney's Big Mistake than just a shiny grin and some cornrows, much in the same way that his website is nothing more than a flashy homepage with nothing to click to. Turns out, everything will be illuminated upon his 2006 arrival; until then, pay no attention to the unconscious lump with a half-smoked spliff in his fingers burning a hole in Britney's couch.