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A few days ago, inexplicably, a perfectly intact pepperoni pizza was seen resting between the tracks of the uptown 6 at Astor Place. A befuddled reader writes:

Every pepperoni seems to be in place. The pie must not have been fresh out of the oven or else the cheese would've run off the sides. One would assume that the pie tosser dropped the pizza on the platform and hurled it out of frustration. But this theory seems too simple and makes a commoner out of our subterranean Dali. And how did this Ohio-style rectangular pie make its way to the East Village? Are its once-square-now-undulating curves intended to mock the nearby Sculpture for Living?

We're putting this to you, pizza theorists, for some sort of explanation, as we're more clueless than usual. What we do know: if it went down at Astor Place, Matt Damon must be involved.