Some takeout restaurants choose to decorate their menus with large, unappetizing photographs of their food. Not a good idea.

See if you can spot the typo in this press release about how Donald Trump is totally not a racist, which was sent to reporters by a Donald Trump donor yesterday:

The concourse at Philadelphia’s Wells Fargo Center is filled with all sorts of chicken sandwiches, some of them vaguely pleasant, others pleasantly vague. But which of these breaded breasts allegedly sickened a New York Times reporter in town for the DNC?

A new study finds butter consumption does not lead to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, or early death. So go ahead: eat that fuckin butter. Eat it all up. “Here lies Buttery Joe, dead of natural causes.”—your tombstone.

Today, the FDA announced that food companies will soon be required to list “added sugars” on nutritional labels. Stop adding so much sugar, to everything!!!

McDonald’s will soon be rolling out a new, “cleaner” version of its Chicken McNuggets. Ronald McDonald, please don’t monkey with the Dimethylpolysiloxane!

The yogurt business is not the happy field of pleasant cows that you might imagine. It’s a seething hive of trickery, con jobs, and hustlers who will go to almost any length to make you, the consumer, forget that you are eating bad yogurt.

Corn here (America). Corn there (South America). Corn everywhere (arriving by the boat load). Corn, corn, corn.

When it comes to shelf-stable macaroni and cheese products, today’s consumers expect a premium brand offering a premium product. That’s what makes it so exciting to be alive in the United States of America in 2016.

U.S. peanut inventories are so high that farmers “may not have enough warehouse space” to store the bounty. Everyone must eat more peanuts—for America!

Vegetables are good for you and some of them are quite tasty as well. You’ll know which vegetables are best—as soon you read the rankings that are waiting for you below.

They came to Germany in search of better lives. But they left Germany in search of better food.

Diners: not a fast food restaurant, but also not a “real” restaurant. Something in between. Seems like it should be in between the price of fast food and a real restaurant. But is it?

You, the consumer, are not a scientist. Nor are you a trained chef, a biologist, a doctor, or even a rational person. Nevertheless, you are purchasing only “natural” food.

Do you still eat at Chipotle? Even after various outbreaks of E. Coli, salmonella, and norovirus swept across its North American locations? If your answer is yes, you must be a very dedicated Chipotle consumer. Which is why you may want to plan ahead for February 8, when every Chipotle restaurant will close for several hours so that its executives can address food safety concerns with staff. A spokesperson for the Denver-cased fast casual chain discussed the plan with Oregonian reporter Lynn Terry:

As a connoisseur of fine yogurt, you can approach life in one of two ways: get bogged down in the muck of inferior yogurt trench warfare, or you can put on your headphones and settle in with some quality yogurt—because brother, life is too short for bad curdles.

Someone went to all the trouble of surveying one thousand American consumers. Why?

Donald Trump, a man whose garbage output is matched only by his diet of garbage, just released a doctor’s note saying what fine shape he’s in, using the sort of language usually associated with a racehorse or fighting dog.

A good diet is one that drains you both physically and spiritually.

Kristin Cavallari’s favorite celebrity news outlet is perhaps E! News. E! does not drag her into drama and shit, like Us Weekly does, and it was E! that first broke the news that Kristin was writing a book.* Kristin has done a lot of interviews with E!, including an E! Entertainment Special about her life, which I keep forgetting to post here. (It’s 22 minutes long.)