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It's every celebrity's darkest nightmare: One moment, you are peeling down the PCH in a Ferrari with your brother, tapping your foot to your aspiring rapper husband's latest demo blaring through the speakers ("Don't even/Yo/Don't even/Yeah...No, no"), when car trouble suddenly finds you stalled dangerously in the middle of the highway, easy prey for the swarm of paparazzi hot on your tail. This was exactly the fate that befell pop temptress Britney Spears and her brother Bryan on Sunday (baby Sean Preston was supposed to be at home with daddy Kevin Federline, though corroborative eyewitness reports last spotted the infant crawling solo through the razor wire fence of a local power facility).

Access Hollywood reports that the paparazzi actually came to Spears' aid, helping them push the car off the road, and "waiting with the pair until police showed up," a heartwarming tale of sworn enemies coming together in a moment of need. There is often more than one side to a story, however. From our Defamer operative on the scene:

I live in Malibu work at the local beach caf on the weekends. We get a broad spectrum of clientele and as such I have a skewed view of the city of Malibu, its inhabitants and the steady traffic of star gazers.

As I typed in an order, an unkempt barefoot girl rushed passed me and into the bathroom. I looked up and noticed a guy outside who looked like he'd just left the clearance rack at Loehmann's. A police cruiser pulled up next to him. My manager walked outside to speak with the cop to see if there was anything we needed to be aware of. A few moments later, the girl rushed outside and the officer helped the couple into the backseat of his car and drove away. A female coworker then came up to me and said that Britney Spears just passed her in the bathroom, barefoot. My manager returned and explained that Britney's car had broken down and they'd called the police to rescue them from a swarm of paparazzi...

For one brief, glistening moment, we thought the Great Celebrity Paparazzi War may have finally come to an end, with a laying down of arms between the perpetually naked-footed public restroom enthusiast and her camera-toting demons. Sadly, our operative's specific use of the words "from" and not "by" with respect to her paparazzi rescuing quickly snuffed that dream.