Defamer Casting: Seeking 300-400 LBS Of Topless Fun
We feel your pain: Sure, you're completely comfortable with your body, but maybe you haven't quite been staying in shape lately, depressed that all the good vagina-focused roles are going to younger, hungrier women. Take heart; the anonymous virtual casting office of Craigslist proves that Hollywood still has a place for you:
SUPER FAT CHICK/HUGE WOMAN ACTRESS NEEDED ASAP Major motion picture with domestic and international release and distribution needs 300/400lbs ++ woman for comedy to film for one day during 3/13 - 3/19. Must have sense of humor and be willing to be topless during scene. This is a NOT an adult film. The scene is interiors only and is NON-SEXUAL. PLEASE e-mail with pictures and information. Production will provide more details upon receipt of picture.
It doesn't take a ten-year acting veteran to know that "having a sense of humor" means still being able to laugh at Rob Schneider's (or, you know, some other SNL alum's, or a lesser Wayans brother's) jokes after twenty or thirty attempts at nailing a spit-take that properly expresses his surprise that his impulsive booty call has taken an unfortunate—but hilarious!—turn.
