False Alarm! Jess Hearts W!
Somehow, even as we typed the words you know, the one's where we reluctantly admitted feeling a momentary, uneasy kinship with Jessica Simpson we just knew a reality check bitch-slap addendum was forthcoming; we just didn't realize how soon. Creepy Svengali/manager/chromosome-donator Joe Simpson clears things up:
"We went back and forth, and we could never get the details worked out," said her father and manager, Joe Simpson. "When it became obvious that it was not just a state dinner, it was more of a fundraising event, that is the wrong purpose of why we are here."
Joe Simpson was adamant that his family are "big supporters" of the president.
"We are huge fans of him and of his family, his girls," Simpson said. "Jessica loves the heck out of him."
In fact, Simpson said they were still trying to squeeze in a meeting with the chief executive.
And suddenly, as if we just mainlined a generous dose of black-tar heroin between our toes, the happy sinks back in, and every blade of grass returns to its rightful place in the universe. Breathe, friends. Jessica remains one of them.