Blue States Lose
We know the possibility of a third life for Radar leaves you almost too sexually excited to think about anything other than easing yourself into some pert young fresh intelligence. But if anything can distract you it's Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you don't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak deigns to grace us with his presence long enough to fulfil his hipster-mocking duties.
Welcome to the return of Blue States Lose. We took last week off to join the rest of New York and Los Angeles in Austin for the South by Southwest music festival, where we saw many BSL regulars and Hall of Famers out and about on the dirty sidewalks of 6th Street. It should come as no surprise that a big chunk of this week's list is SXSW photos, including a few hot ones from some photo gallery site called One October Night, which a friend passed along. Think of it as a special little treat, a gift on our return. Sadly, there's no Last Night's Party Blog Moment of the Week this time around, but there is a video clip of a girl almost taking off her bra. Almost. Exciting! Now, on to the list:
10) The Cobrasnake. Houston Livestock photo #4086: What's shocking isn't that the Cobrasnake hit South by Southwest and decided to go the ironic white supremacist route (duh), but that he decided to do it roughly two-and-a-half years after Gavin McInnes played out the look in The New York Times. For shame, Cobrasnake. Dated irony is like losing a game of Ookie Cookie. You can never recover.
9) Last Night's Party. Bi-Tanic photo #0201: You know that scene in Indiana Jones when Harrison Ford is on top of the train and a group of Nazis are bearing down on him, and he shoots the gun, and the bullet is so powerful that it goes through all four Nazis and kills them? We think she's saying she has a similar strength, but with, like, vaginas.
8) Last Night's Party. QT photo #8775: Q: What do you get when you put a hipster in a hot tub? A: The same exact look as every other hipster photograph on the Internet, but foggier.
7) The Cobrasnake. Blister Mister photo #7670: Laugh at the obvious if you will, but don't judge a book by its cover. Dude was like "South by South wha?" and had never even heard of blogs. Motherfucker just loves the Beastie Boys and Minesweeper, and we ain't mad at that!
6) One October Night. SXSW I photo #77: You always hear hipster bands complaining about people not dancing at shows. New York and Los Angeles often get harassed for having crappy crowds that stand with their arms crossed while just nodding their heads to the music. Well let us tell you this, Nick Zinner: Would you rather look down from the stage and see this instead? White people stay stationary for a reason, fuckballs.
5) The Cobrasnake. Blister Mister photo #7718: Yeesh, you take a girl out of her regular element, plop her down in Texas, and suddenly she's wilding out. Everything's bigger in Texas, and that apparently includes neckerchiefs. As for the Navajo mystic, just don't look her in the cursin' eye, lest you wind up as a rattlesnake or half-drank bottle of gin.
4) Last Night's Party. Concert 4 Peace photo #0359: Is anybody else worried that when President Frist starts Civil War II, this is going to be the dude defending the important-for-tactical-reasons Williamsburg Bridge? The effort is there, sure, but it takes more than a muscle shirt to scare off Larry the Cable Guy, ya know? That motherfucker is trained to kill.
3) One October Night. SXSW III photo #143: It's time for the return of everybody's favorite game: "Hipster or Homeless?"! Now, with this one, the matching camo jacket and hat scream "alcoholic Vietnam vet," and the scraggly beard would seem to push that hypothesis further. But we all know those shell-shocked weirdos only drink Budweiser or Steel Reserve, and the sartorial layering is too complex for someone who shouldn't have any teeth. Come to think of it, that jacket is probably BAPE and cost $375. Fuck, this one was way too easy.
2) One October Night. SXSW I photo #65: Anyone who thinks places like Misshapes don't have any influence when it comes to what the kids are wearing should take a look at this. Pretty soon you won't be able to tell if this is a photo from a Fader show at SXSW or a shot of the line outside B Bar on a Friday night. Either way, those Malaysian orphans better start working faster.
1) Misshapes. March 18, 2006 photo #031: Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. You would think that a SXSW photo would be a lock for the #1 spot, but look what was going on while 80 percent of New York's bloggers were out of the state. Let's just say that when your Saturday night outfit includes a mandatory trip to the medical supply store, you fucking win. Congratulations, Sailor Boy. You're making our country proud.