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Natural bearskin birthing spokesmodel Britney Spears can always be relied upon to be at the center of multiple ridiculous lawsuits and brushes with the law. To keep you up to date with the latest on the Spears legal docket, a Britney Justice round-up:
· Britney's songwriters (wait—she doesn't write them herself?) are accusing a South Korean singer named Lee Hyo-lee of having "partially plagiarized" a song called "Do Something." (We've never heard of it, but we'll assume it's an empowering disco track a la "I Will Survive" in which a fed up Britney confronts Kevin Federline once and for all).

· Three of Spears' former bodyguards—those mountains of flesh who make up for what they lack in fleetness and reflexes by offering clients miles of square footage of invaluable, bullet-absorbing protection—are suing Spears for unpaid overtime and causing them "to miss meals." (They get ornery if they don't get their 14 squares a day.)
· Meanwhile, Britney's own lawyers have been granted an extension until May 3 to compile more evidence in her $20 million lawsuit against Us Weekly for running a story about a sex tape she claims never existed, which should give them plenty of time to track down and burn the existing copies.