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When a GQ profile quoted Michael Douglas as taking a petty swipe at everyone's favorite globetrotting altruists Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ("I don't know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful wife to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean, how long is that going to last?" were his reported words), it instantly became the diss heard round the world. But the impressively bearded actor has gone on the record with Extra, claiming that the quote was entirely fabricated:

Michael denies the statement and says, "This had been unfortunate. It was a lengthy article. It must have been 20 hours of tape recording. So, I asked to hear the tape recording, and the reporter said, 'Well, I turned the tape recorder off.' And I said, 'Well, you had it on for the whole time.' So I didn't say it."

But Michael revealed to "Extra" that he wrote Brad and Angelina an apology anyway.

"I consider him a good friend," Michael said. "She does wonderful work for the United Nations, which is what I'm also involved in."

Something about the lack of outrage in his denial (you can watch the video here and decide for yourself) makes it hard for us to buy his story. No, we still get the sense that this was just a desperate attempt at damage control after Douglas ran off at the mouth with a particularly self-righteous, cranky-old-man monologue, which probably started with the words "You want to know what's wrong with the world today?" and closed with a pithy, "So pack that into your bong bowl and smoke it, ya little guttersnipes!"