1. House of Cards

Michael Douglas says he got cancer from going down on someone (Catherine Zeta-Jones?).

The members of TVTV (Top Value Television), the 1970s guerrilla video group I cofounded, were among the first to exploit the then brand-new portable video camera. We took them to big events and turned the cameras away from the spectacle and on to the people; almost no one had seen one before, and there were no rules about how to use them, or act in front of them—not even among Oscar nominees like Mike Douglas, Jack Nicholson and Lily Tomlin, all of whom were captured by the group in 1976 for TVTV Goes the Oscars.

Amazing news: Lifetime is casting an original movie about tragic figure Anna Nicole Smith. And who better to handle Anna Nicole's story than a network known for melodrama and camp appeal?

Ed. Note: Unfortunately, we were asked to take down the photograph which originally ran with this story. Which is great because it gave me an excuse to have Jim Cooke illustrate a new one. Just like the last time, he's very disappointed with the results because he was rushed and insisted we say 'Bad Drawings by Jim Cooke.' But instead we will acknowledge his heroic patience once again.

Sure, last night's Academy Awards were the worst Oscars ever. But that doesn't mean we were deprived the always-glamorous faces of the silver screen. Happy faces, sad faces, faces incapable of emotion due to injections—they're all here for your perusal.

Cameron Douglas, the eldest son of actor Michael Douglas, who is currently serving five years for dealing crystal meth may testify against one of his suppliers in an upcoming drug trial.

Katy Perry's mom writes a memoir about her daughter's dirty pillows. Chris Brown's neighbors hate him. Matt Damon on the transitive property of kissing. Prince William cuts water sports from his bachelor party. Monday gossip is damned.

This year's Golden Globes ceremony has ended, but that doesn't mean we have to stop talking about it! From Ricky Gervais' controversial turn as host, to Jane Fonda's nip slip—and much more!—here are the show's most memorable moments.

Oprah consoled depression with the biggest mac 'n' cheese binge in history. Kelsey Grammer likes to wear women's panties. Johnny Weir realized he was gay while watching Pretty Woman. Keira Knightley is single. Thursday gossip eats its emotions.

Owen Wilson, Marion Cotillard, and Jewel are having babies. Kanye got his album cover banned on purpose. Michael Douglas beats cancer. Andy Dick gets kicked out of the Oscars of porn. Tuesday gossip giggles and coos.

Cancer-stricken Michael Douglas simultaneously "feel[s] stronger every day" and "prepares to die!" on the newsstand this week. More evidence that magazine covers contain the most lies? [Image via Reddit]

Well, some good news. Michael Douglas is returning to work — on a Liberace biopic no less — after undergoing treatment for throat cancer. So that's good! Unfortunately some fellow celebrities aren't faring so well.

Lady Gaga cooked up a "little monster casserole." Michael Douglas took his kids to Epcot. Mel Gibson tried to get some (proof that his ex was taking) Oxycodone. Friday's gossip is still recovering from the sweet potato marshmallow casserole.

Angelina Jolie does not enjoy our colonial holiday. Lindsay Lohan is spending Thanksgiving with a bad influence. Cameron Diaz and A-Rod are back on. Billy Joel is recovering. Wesley Snipes is appealing. Thursday's gossip is making pies with its mother.

A New York judge dismissed Diandra Douglas' lawsuit for half of her ex-husband Michael's salary from Wall Street 2. She can still sue in California, where they divorced. There was no ruling on if greed is good or not.

Posh reveals the secret to loving a guy with a ridiculous voice. Ashton's self-proclaimed mistress says he and Demi are swingers. Amy Winehouse says she's been clean for three years. Toni Braxton files for bankruptcy again. Thursday gossip has arrived.

[A tropically attired Michael Douglas walks his beloved dog Figaro in New York City. Image via Splash.]

Elisabeth Moss files for divorce. Jailbound Lindsay Lohan gets a facial. Michael Jackson's kids will take the stand to discuss his drug use. Tuesday gossip puts its best face and worst faith forward.

Oliver Stone says he cut Donald Trump's cameo out of Wall Street 2 because he was too "distracting." Maybe it wasn't his presence in the movie but the obvious presence in his pants that got him cut?