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• Assuming Tom Cruise does eat placenta, he learned how to serve it courtesy of Vice. It's like Food & Wine for the flesh-eating hipster set, after all. [Viceland]
• How bad are things getting in the world of big-budget beauty pageants? Bad enough that Miss USA contestants are doing photo-ops Mars 2112. [Getty Images]
• The FreeJaredPaulStern blog, dedicated to saving the reporter from allegations of extortion, throws in the towel. Sometimes people just don't want to be helped. [FJPS]
• Another reason to fear bloggers. [CNN]
• Heeding the call of impatient burger lovers everywhere, Shake Shack gets its own webcam so that you can effectively time your visits for more efficient, heart-clogging consumption. [Gothamist]
• The legendary Algonquin Round Table gets the musical treatment; Dorothy Parker rolls over in her grave. [Reuters]
• We've no idea if this is legitimate, but downtown auteur Marc Ecko claims to have tagged Air Force One. Update: OK, not legitimate. [Still Free]
• Village Voice nightowl Tricia Romano comes clean about her swag, none of which strikes us as particularly enviable. [VV]
• Natasha Lyonne, pull your ass out of rehab and come pick up your shit. [CL]