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• Starting next week, Hearst begins its move into their new W. 57th Street digs. While we expected an impeccably organized move, we certainly didn't expect moving phases to be divided into color-coded teams, complete with "team captains." After the move, will there be a giant game of capture the flag? [Jossip]
• David Carr, clearly having never worked at a doughnut shop, is wrong about employees consuming the very goods they sell. [The Daily Transom]
• Vanessa Grigoriadis is hiring a new mule. [Columbia]
• We've always maintained that the fervently athletic are intellectually feeble; triatheletes competing for a new bike by touching a bike frame for 70 hours straight seems to support that notion. [Big and Sharp]
• The Marcel Hotel at 24th Street and 3rd Avenue flooded yesterday, forcing 130 travelers to be relocated elsewhere. In case you were wondering, they're still all booked for tonight and tomorrow. [WCBS]
• The Department of Justice presents Your Vagina: A Gateway to Information. [Video Dog]