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It's Cinco de Mayo, and we all know the best way to celebrate: With Blue States Lose, in which Joey Arak puts down his margarita long enough to dig through the photo galleries at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you don't have to. After the jump, Joey ridicules the deserving for the good of society.

Hello, friends. There were no Misshapes photos posted to this week, so to spice things up a bit we also took a gander at the photo galleries recently unleashed by the Village Voice's superb Fly Life columnist, Tricia Romano (we'll assume she's not getting paid extra for her new photography responsibilities). Now we have a first-hand view of what the life of a downtown nightlife columnist is like. Tricia, we are truly sorry for you.

10) The Cobrasnake. Fun in Da Hood photo #5297: This seems a little unnecessary, no? It's like a Jewish person wearing a swastika armband or something. We know you don't believe in it, so why are you doing it? Shock value? Zzzzzzzz. Next time just drench yourself in puppy blood or something, dudebro.

9) The Cobrasnake. Pickey Pickel photo #6237: For all the post-feminist enlightened young urban woman bullshit we'd expect all hipsters with vaginas to adhere to, it's never been more apparent that deep down even girls from Silverlake just want to get married and stay home and be treated like princesses.

8) Village Voice. All Yesterday's Parties photo #2: We're not sure which is weirder: that Princess Coldstare and Misshapes Regular #273 were posing inside a car at a Volkswagen event, or that Volkswagen is so blinded by Misshapes starpower that they feel it's OK to promote drinking and driving. Will the sidewalks of Ludlow Street ever be safe again?

7) The Cobrasnake. Papel Papier photo #5095: When people stop going to Benihana and the trust fund suddenly runs out, and Pony Up!, JR Ewing, Neon Blonde, Scanners, The Rakes, Soul She Said, Lion Fever and Dance Disaster Movement all need a label, at least they'll know where all the money went. Bet they each got a sweet bag out of it, though.

6) The Cobrasnake. Like Hella Hot photo #4655: It's a simple formula, really. If you total their ages and divide it by the number of lasses in the group, that's the length of your jail term.

5) The Cobrasnake. Dance Pants photo #4107: Remember in She's All That when they tried to ugly up Rachel Leigh Cook so that at the end of the movie she could be revealed as a beautiful swan and all the characters (including that really-just-a-good-guy-deep-down-inside Freddie Prinze Jr.) would be bummed out that they ragged on her? But the whole thing didn't work because everyone in the theater could tell she was hot because all they did to try and make her look bad was give her glasses and put her hair in a ponytail? Yeah, this is the Williamsburg version of that. It's a nice try, but all that shit's gonna come off and then we're going to be neck deep in milky cleavage and radiant smiles in no time.

4) Last Night's Party. Dita photo #4416: For all of Angry Goth's wretched life, his parents have kept saying, "Angry Goth, why can't you dress nicely? How about a necktie?" To which Angry Goth always replied, "Sure, when the Dark Lord trades in his realm of darkness ... for Spring Break in Cabo!" Looks like we can call this one a push, eh?

3) Last Night's Party. Dita photo #4659: Holy nutterfuckers, look at that mustache. That thing is so ferocious that it's going to leap off dude's face and form a Guatemalan death squad. And once its mission is completed and it returns to the States, the guy on the left is going to fuck its brains outs.

2) The Cobrasnake. Whitetrash Gunshow photo #0187: You ever hang out at Fat Baby or the Dark Room or whatever other LES bar is stealing your money on any given weekend night, and in walks a group of guidos who want to "slum it downtown" for a night? And they're trying to "fit in" by wearing a T-shirt and blazer and jeans, but the T-shirt is Armani Exchange and the jeans are Ralph Lauren? Move that entire situation to Los Angeles, and this is what you get.

1) Last Night's Party. Dita photo #4298: "Oui, that is correct. I just arrivé from Paris. I fly all day, and come straight ici. I tell motorcoach driver I want go where beautiful musique and hot hot hot dance time is. Have you met Francois Simone, mon petit manservant?"