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There's only one thing you hate more than being chained to your computer on the world's longest Friday, and that's dumbfuck hipsters posing like they're Gia incarnate. Lucky for you, it's time for Blue States Lose, wherein we drag our feet through photos of the fucked-up and fabulous children of The Cobrasnake, Last Night’s Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you won't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak makes the Star Room look downright attractive.

10) Misshapes. May 20, 2006 photo #026: After escaping the evil clutches of Beetlejuice and leading Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis in a rousing rendition of "Day-O", The Other Dude hopped in a cab and headed downtown for a cool-off cocktail. After all, it had certainly been a night of close calls!

9) Misshapes. May 20, 2006 photo #044: Are there any original ideas left at Misshapes? When people start ripping off the exact looks of other people at the same party, is that like a snake eating its own tail or someone with gonorrhea jerking off on himself? We never thought we'd see the day when we felt Headband Guy had been wronged, but we never thought we'd see the day when the Cult of Leotard Fantastic became a reality, either. Every time someone adopts the LF haircut, an angel's brain explodes.

8) Misshapes. May 20, 2006 photo #084: OK, we stand corrected. There are still original ideas at Misshapes. Just the mere possibility that this tiddlywink actually sat down and painted his fannypack (because where the hell do you find a silver one, anyway?) tickles us so pink that Melissa Ethridge just rubbed some white ribbons on us to change their color to suit her bullshit cause.

7) Last Night's Party. Lights Camera photo #5584: Oh, we get it. Combining the goth and nerd thing in a sort of "high school outcast freaks and geeks super sartorial double whammy" kind of thing. That's totally fine and all, but here's the thing: With all of those influences mixed in, how did it come out looking like "trannie grandmother suits up for her big night out on the town"? That must have been like when Ben Franklin tried to invent the keykite but it came out as electricity.

6) The Cobrasnake. Have a Nice Day photo #0690: It's time for yet another round of everybody's favorite fabulous fashionista photoblog game: Hipster or Homeless? The haggard clothing points us in the grifter direction, as does the unabashed willingness to show off what lurks beneath (the homeless are mostly crazy alcoholics, after all). But then there's the dead giveaways, particularly the sparkling cleanliness and man-bag. Valiant effort, chappy, but this one's a piece of cake: Hiptard!

5) Misshapes. May 20, 2006 photo #148: Usually we shrug off Suit Guy's antics with a hearty chortle and a slap on the knee, but this week the man cannot be ignored. Has anyone tackled the Inspector Clouseau look with so much frumpy gusto and determination? Well, George Costanza for one, but Suit Guy is running a very close second.

4) The Cobrasnake. Homeward Goatsoap photo #1087: While you may look at this photo and laugh, we look at it and see dollar signs. You see, in our "What Comes After Terrorist Chic?" fashion trend office pool, we had $20 on "awkward rabbi," paying out at 10-1 odds. While we were tempted to go with both the favorite (Sudanese refugee spring break debauchery) and the longshot (Roaring '20s flapper girl time machine), we knew going Hebrew would probably be a safe bet.

3) Last Night's Party. Lights Action photo #5657: You see what happens as these New York hipster photo sites spread? Last Night's Party ... Where the Next Party Is ... Out With Me ... pretty soon (like, now) they're too ubiquitous and you wind up with Creepy Daddy Financial Planner who hires a sitter and drives in from Bergen County with his PowerShot because he wants to see "all the pretty young things" in their element.

2) Last Nights Party. Lights Camera photo #6050: You know a hipster is dedicated to the cause when she decides to make Halloween come early and play a stripper for the night, but still refuses to ditch the neck bandana. There's only so far she'll go, after all!

1) The Cobrasnake. Prom Dong Avalon photo #9873: This one isn't a joke, it's serious. A cautionary tale, courtesy of Blue States Lose. If this doesn't make you clutch your daughter close and never let her goeven if you don't have a daughter and you just grab the air surrounding you as a representation of your imagined daughter of the futurethen you're either a vacant, emotionally-dead monster who should never spawn, or, like, Dina Lohan or something.