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· In an instant message interview with AOL Music today, Jared Leto announced to the world he's as "gay as a goose." He wisely waited until his fatty period was over, avoiding an embarrassing rejection by his new adoptive people.
· In further goose news, if you haven't seen this moment from last night's American Idol finale, in which one of their creepiest early rejects gets the panty-pooping shock of his life when Clay Aiken (who appears to have found a new best friend in Garnier Nutrisse) joins him on stage, well...you must. You simply must. And while we're at it, here's Kevin Covais, who's probably getting more puthy than you ever thought potthible, warbling through a Bacharach classic.
· And in even further goose news, we proudly present the following comic book movie headlines: "Superman' Director Bryan Singer Relates To Outcast Hero," and "The 'X-Men' come out."
· Our grandmother is a sexier, more coordinated dancer than Paris Hilton. Oh, and there's a nipple slip in there, which would really thrill and titillate us if we hadn't already been introduced to her clitoris on multiple occasions.