According to sources who claim to be close to Jared Leto's dick, Jared Leto's dick is very large, as human dicks go, and shaped like the plumed helmet of an elite Roman guard. Although this classic American genital folktale hasn't been independently confirmed, Leto entered some new evidence into the Case of Is Jared Leto's Dick Big at a recent 30 Seconds to Mars Show.

Alexis Arquette, probably one of the top two Arquette sisters, casually mentioned earlier this month that she "had sex with Jared Leto back when I was presenting as a male," and went on to give a tantalizingly cryptic description of Leto's huge dick.

Don't worry, Ukraine. Jared Leto's got this under control.

It’s easy to take for granted how far gay-straight relations have come in the past 30 years. It’s so easy, in fact, that David Carr published a piece in the New York Times last week wondering “What if Gawker tried to out an anchor at Fox News and no one cared?”—the implication being that the culture had "moved on" from caring about someone's sexual orientation.

During an interview with British radio station Xfm, actor/singer/heartthrob Jared Leto was asked about some of the weirder gifts he's received from fans over the years.

In case you missed it, today was the 17th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death, a solemn occasion best commemorated by a visit to Jared Leto's blog, Notes From the Outernet. Take it away, Jared!

In the understatement of the year, Jared Leto acknowledges that yes, maybe he is a little bit of a "weird guy."

Nicki Minaj self-debunks. Lilo's nurse wants a truce. Kate Middleton has chosen her dress. David Beckham did not have sex with a hooker. Paris Hilton's return to porn. Jared Leto's intense driver's license picture. Sunday gossip roundup is here!

Jared Leto handpicks a gyrating babe for his next music video. Brangelina spend the day at a bath house. Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent: Back on? Monday gossip could use a good steam bath.

What will it take to start Travolta's version of the Tiger Woods' mistress parade? T.I. gets arrested for drug possession. Lindsay Lohan fights to stop her father from selling pages from her old diary. Thursday gossip kisses and tells.

In which we discover the sexiest way to report a starlet's jury duty. Tiger Woods exits sex rehab, Madonna and Jesus Luz are still together, and Howard Stern declines American Idol's judging gig. Friday gossip isn't afraid to say 'no.'

Larry King sold his suspenders. Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta saved young Haitians. And Jessica Yellin made a terrible earthquake-related pun. Welcome to the strangest night yet of CNN's unrelenting prime-time Haiti coverage.

Tila Tequila recently tweeted, "I HAVE NO FRIENDS!" But once, she did. An ex-boyfriend tells Gawker about the gap between Tila's "gangbanger" youth and famewhoring present: She was an alcohol-intolerant straight-edger with a split personality and unyielding ambition.

Uber-rich playplace Saint Barthélemy suffers from the unbearable lightness of too much fabulous; Gloria Allred aims at Shaq; Mike Tyson won't be charged for beating a paparazzo; Michelle beats Barack at tennis. New year, new gossip.

Lindsay Lohan is cracked out and running out of places! Or something. We're not sure what Harry Potter is smoking but it's awesome. Carrie Prejean has more sex on camera. Jon Gosselin, Exortionists: Dicknoses. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Child labor activists are aiming for Pam Anderson. Rush Limbaugh, shockingly, loves racist clubs. Jon Gosselin no doubt hates giving up $180,000. And Ashton Kutcher was mean to January Jones. Good morning! It's your Wednesday morning gossip roundup...

A pregnant Karolina Kurkova walking in Tribeca with fiancé Archie Drury ... Catherine Zeta-Jones taking her kids Dylan and Carys to Pier 59 where she was celebrating her birthday ... Jared Leto riding a bike in SoHo ... Kirsten Dunst walking downtown ... Jennifer Hudson leaving her hotel with husband David Otunga ... Sienna Miller signing autographs outside her new Broadway play, After Miss Julie ... Cynthia Nixon walking in SoHo ... Oprah sitting in the back of an SUV ... Whitney Port filming scenes for The City on Friday afternoon ... Matthew Broderick riding bikes with son James in the Village ... Jonah Hill hanging out with a friend downtown ... and Rihanna leaving dinner at the Spotted Pig, and then going to the 40/40 club.

Jared Leto going for lunch with Moby in SoHo ... Jennifer Hudson leaving her hotel ... Bar Refaeli shopping in SoHo ... Chanel Iman walking in Bryant Park ... Rihanna going to dinner at Philippe with her assistant ... Bill Clinton getting into an SUV after an appearance on the Daily Show ... Suze Orman walking in the street ... Taylor Swift leaving her hotel with her mom ... Leona Lewis walking in SoHo ... India Arie walking by herself ... Alicia Keys getting in an SUV after a night out ... and Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristin Davis leaving a trailer on the set of Sex and the City 2.

Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.

• The drama surrounding fashion's most famous headbutt continues: Kiefer Sutherland says he was "defending the honor" of Brooke Shields by attacking Jack McCollough, since Jack had knocked Brooke over and then failed to apologize. Brooke and Jack, however, say the push never even happened, and Kiefer was running around drunk and "looking for something to smack." The police are now investigating the matter, since apparently there aren't more important crimes to be tackling right now. [TMZ, TMZ, NYDN, P6]
• Anna Wintour and Rihanna were acting like old pals at a Costume Institute afterparty on Monday night, which certainly bodes well for Rihanna's chances of landing a Vogue cover in the future. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan was supposed to chaperone her little sister to a party at LA's Roosevelt Hotel on Monday night, but ended up "getting up close and personal" with ex-boyfriend Jared Leto instead. [E!, P6]
• Casey Johnson, meanwhile, showed up to the same party and was overheard telling a friend that she and Courtenay Semel have broken up, again. [P6]