Friday is good, and Blue States Lose is even better. It's our weekly exercise in discipline, wherein we do our best to not kill ourselves while digging through the hipstard photos at The Cobrasnake, Last Night’s Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you won't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak relaxes in a hot tub full of warm, bubbling Sparks.

We apologize, but due to travel constraints (guess who's in Germany for the World Cup, suckers?), we couldn't wait for the Misshapes photo gallery to go up. However, the gang may pop up in some strange locales!

10) Last Night's Party. Zoo photo #5806: We absolutely lurve it when some yokel latches on to a current trend and takes it hilariously over the top. Two bandanas? Amazing. Three years ago he was wearing 17 trucker hats smushed on top of each other while wearing Uggs on his hands and feet.

9) The Cobrasnake. She Wants Dried Fruit photo #4071: When you get caught with the worst case of Sparks tongue on record, the only thing you can do is consult the Idiot's Guide to Being a Hipster, by Headband Guy. There it is right in Chapter 2, titled "Hipster Health Care: Sparks Tongue, Coke Nose and You" (it's right after Chapter 1, which just has the sentence "Get a job at American Apparel" cut and pasted 5,000 times in a row). The advice? "Rinse your mouth out with water. Wellhipster water."

8) The Cobrasnake. Iraqi Convict photo #3530: You know when G'd up dudes where hats three sizes too big for them and end up looking like the kids that get wheeled out during telethons? This is just like that, except with our most favoritist of accessories. But what's her disease? Clutterneck?

7) The Cobrasnake. Burnin Up Hot Blooded photo #2872: This is why DJ Steve Aoki Kid Millionaire is the greatest. It's not the pink BAPE jackets, the four-fingered rings, the facial hair, the vanity label founded with trust fund money or the general douchebaggery. It's because when push comes to shove, he's not afraid to bust out the ol' vagina-licking gag. Don't be afraid to love him.

6) The Cobrasnake. Passport Killer photo #3458: We'll put aside our instinctive desire to make a cheap bandana joke to shoot for the bigger picture here: If moustaches could fuck, would the union of the one dude's moustache sperm with the other guy's moustache egg result in the fertilization of Baby Jesus?

5) Last Night's Party. Zoo photo #5989: Why does he look so dumbfounded? It's because she is the Holder of the Truth, and she is finally bestowing her knowledge on him. The big secret? Why hipsters hate sleeves. They all just assume it's a natural aversion, but clearly the real explanation is something far more serious. For most, however, ignorance is still bliss.

4) Flickr/themodernage. My Favorite Nightlife Photos #misshapes_aud_audreycabana: For six hours a week, he's The Other Dude, but for the other 162, he's juuuuuuuuuust Greg!a regular, bashful guy who loves the Gap and kinda needs a haircut. Isn't he the cutest?

3) Flickr/St. Laurent Des Maux De T te. Audrey's 30th bday party #Leigh and Geordan: Leotard Fantastic, on the other hand, is pretty much a 24/7/365 kind of guy. A very dedicated individual. Put him in a T-shirt, stick him on a roof deck in the middle of the afternoon, whatever. You can take the boy out of Misshapes, but you can't take Misshapes out of the boy.

2) Last Night's Party. Zoo photo #5978: Hey Angry Goth, where'd ya get your sweet jewelry? "From the tortured skin which my wretched mother bore to me! As her cries of desolation filled the delivery room and I emerged from her rotten core, it was then that I knew that He was the source of power in this excuse for a world, that He was the one that could show the way! It was The Dark One who gave me life! It was The Dark One who taught me how to stencil!"

1) The Cobrasnake. Passport Killer photo #3456: God. This is so fucking adorable. It's like the dude in the background is bragging about how nobody in the room can top his vest, ironic mullet and moustache. The guy in the foreground just happened to pass by at that moment and overheard him, and his face says it all: "Oh my, he's so precious. Shall I show him now or later?"