Amidst the cacophony of syrupy farewell tributes that seem to be clogging up the morning show rounds lately, there's something almost refreshing about the beyond messy thunderstorm of bile surrounding Star Jones' abrupt—yet somehow nine years too late—departure from The View. Nothing until now has quite reached the glorious levels of passive-aggressive, full-frontal cattiness of this morning's show opener, however (video above). On a very Star-free set (our closer-to-the-action sibling Gawker cites a source who claims Jones "refused to get into her towncar this morning,"), reigning View monarch Walters spills every petty, in-fighting bean: "We'd hoped she'd leave with dignity. But Star made another choice." Walters then reached behind the couch and retrieved a Bloomingdale's bag, spilling its contents on the floor in front of her. "But since our former colleague left us in this manner, I have absolutely no regrets about showing you the bag full of spare stomach staples and trimmed flesh from his last tummy tuck—God only knows why she saved it—that she forgot to remove from her dressing room. She chose this undignified path, not me."

UPDATE: Star Jones told Ryan Seacrest she was ordered by ABC not to show up to work this morning. It's after the jump.

The Us Blog has the transcript of an interview Jones gave to "On-Air with Ryan Seacrest," in which she claims she was ordered not to show up to work today:

RS: But wait, their reaction, they're asking you not to come back today for the show? SJ: They told me. RS: They told you do not come back to the show. Was that a result of what you said yesterday on the air? SJ: No, no, no, it's not a result of what I said yesterday on the air. It's because I tell the truth, and it was a beautiful tribute to them, I'm not really sure. It was their decision. And I wasn't called personally, my agents were called.