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If you're anything like us, the recent announcement that actress Kate Hudson separated from physically undesirable rocker husband Chris Robinson plunged you into the blackest depths of celebrity break-up despair, in which you smashed all the mirrors in your home with your bare fists and used the jagged shards to carve appropriately melancholy Black Crowes lyrics into the fleshy, vein-laced underside of your forearm. This morning, Us Weekly rolls itself into a glossy cudgel and bludgeons you while you're still weak from the massive, sympathetic blood loss, claiming that Hudson's secret! affair! with You, Me, and Dupree co-star Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson was the "main catalyst for the split." According to Us, Wilson's attorney has already offered a lawyerly evasion of, "[Anything] that suggests that the separation of Ms. Hudson was caused by Mr. Wilson...is absolutely false," which seems too preoccupied with causality to dispute that the two might be a couple. We're sure the day will bring more news once the publicists involved decide if it's better for Wilson's image to completely deny a relationship or portray him as the gallant Stallion who galloped into Hudson's home to save her from an unhappy marriage, then trotted off with his new off-screen love while the cuckolded Robinson was distracted with trying to teach their son how to convert his Fisher-Price Rock-a-Stack into a bong.