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• Jack Nicholson convinced Martin Scorsese to include a scene in The Departed featuring Nicholson, two women and a strap-on — a scene, conveniently, that Nicholson thought of himself. At what point can everyone stop buying into the Nicholson sex-symbol thing? Those days have passed. His presence in a scene like this does nothing but ruin it. [Page Six]
• Clay Aiken comes out of the closet and confesses he has wild nights of manlove panic attacks. [ABC]
• Paris Hilton gives a $100 bill to a homeless man. Shame on her, exploiting the less fortunate just to make herself a little bit less loathsome. [TMZ]
• Post-rehab, Whitney Houston seems to have her shit together and is, of course, eyeing a comeback. [Page Six]
• Revlon kingpin Ron Perelman admits that he dicked over his own son. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Mischa Barton admits that she was "self-obsessed." Good of her to tell us about it. [IMDb]
• Carl Bernstein defends Bob Woodward; Kate Bosworth starves; Leonardo DiCaprio dodges questions. Slow day. [Lowdown]
• Britney and K-Fed bring home poor baby Sutton, and so the child's nightmare begins. [Us Weekly]