A new report from Playboy Magazine claims old blueprints link the Playboy Mansion to several neighboring celebrity homes via a series of secret tunnels.

While being interviewed recently for a Japanese TV show, Leonardo DiCaprio was asked if he did any celebrity impressions. DiCaprio confessed he did do one impression — of his Departed co-star Jack Nicholson.

A 41-year-old Brazilian man was arrested and charged with falsifying public documents after trying to use a fake ID to open a bank account. The false identity he was borrowing? Jack Nicholson's.

Everyone is talking about whether or not host Ricky Gervais has been banned from future Golden Globe broadcasts, or if he should. Who cares? Here are 10 things that really should never appear on any awards show again.

He might be starring in an old-people version of that comedic romp. Also today: Movie roles for Leslie Mann and Kate Bosworth, a TV role for a great Big Love actress, a new Gervais/Merchant joint (a small oen), and teens.

Brandon Hardesty has done it again. This time, the uber-talented comedian recreates a scene from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory as both Christopher Walken and Jack Nicholson, and dammit if it isn't the best thing we've seen today. Video inside.

Chace Crawford eating on a bench in the West Village ... Anne Hathaway walking with boyfriend Adam Shulman downtown ... Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell sitting with Jack Nicholson and Lorne Michaels at a Yankees game ... Beyoncé leaving Bar Pitti with Jay-Z ... Matt Lauer walking solo ... Tina Fey shooting scenes for 30 Rock in Rockefeller Plaza ... Blake Lively walking around on the set of Gossip Girl ... Jerry Springer arriving at his hotel ... Rihanna visiting a doctor's office on Long Island ... Britney Spears carrying her son around in Midtown ... and Whitney Port leaving Sant Ambroeus in the West Village after having lunch.

[Jack Nicholson on vacation with his kids in France. Image via INF]

IRS authorities are after Nick Cage, Clooney shows off his new lady-friend, Jude Law met the mother of his latest child on the street at 4am, Britney Spears has a new do and a Sopranos movie is in the works.

• The love affair that the media once had with Megan Fox is clearly waning. Now that she's promoted the Transformers movie in every possible venue on the planet, a bunch of editors have picked Aug. 4 as "Megan Fox media blackout day." [NYDN]
• Investigators looking into Michael Jackson's untimely death searched Dr. Conrad Murray's house yesterday and left with cell phones and a hard drive. [People]
• Bar Refaeli was seen getting hot and heavy with her new boyfriend, Brazilian playboy Ricardo Mansur, in St. Tropez. [P6]
• Hulk Hogan and his wife have (finally!) reached a settlement in their divorce case. He'll get to keep his collection of bandanas; the couple's collection of blonde hair dye will be divided between the two sides. [Us]

Officially out of ideas, Hollywood continues to mine the recent past for any bit of something worth reviving. Movies that you and I both loved once. Plays that the English loved many centuries ago.

• Albert Hammond Jr.'s East Village apartment has gone back on the market. Hammond originally listed the two-bedroom pad at 141 East 3rd Street for $1.199 million last August, and went into contract to sell it before the buyer dropped out. He later re-listed it for $999,000, but then took it off the market altogether in January. It's now back—and cheaper than ever. Hammond's apartment can be yours for $899,000. [Cityfile, Corcoran]
• Warhol muse Jane Holzer has finally closed on the sale of her apartment at 23 East 74th Street. The five-bedroom home, which hit the market last June for $22.5 million, had been reduced to $16.9 million by the time it went into contract in March. The deal has now closed: Apparel mogul Jason Rabin and his wife Nicole picked up the apartment for $14.1 million. [Cityfile]
• Gossip Girl co–executive producer Joshua Safran has put his third-floor loft at 77 White Street on the market for $2.295 million. [NYM, Warburg]

Jack Nicholson turns 72 today. Filmmaker John Waters is turning 63. Hotelier Jason Pomeranc is 38. Real estate developer Billy Macklowe is 41. Jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane is turning 77. Real estate super agent Kathy Sloane turns 64. The View's Sherri Shepherd is turning 42. Actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan turns 43. And State Senator Ruben Diaz, Sr. is 66 years old today.

Just when we thought nothing much had changed in the narcoleptic parallel universe of SAG contract negotiations, we're hearing now that the union's saber-rattlers are finally bringing the heavy weaponry to bear on their studio nemeses: A recent dinner hosting Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep, Warren Beatty and other influential legends reportedly gave the blessing for a crippling actor's strike. (UPDATE: Not at this meeting, anyway — Sharon Waxman has retracted her original story. More after the jump.)A more formal strike authorization will be sought from SAG's 120,000 members in the weeks ahead, but as Sharon Waxman hinted late Monday, when Hollywood royalty gathers secretly to help drop-kick the industry into another winter of chaos, what's really left to vote on?

Hollywood has done its fair share of preaching to the political electorate this season, so Moviefone polled 1.1 million of its users to return the favor by electing their favorite screen presidents. They rose to the occasion by selecting Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, and several tremendous idiots. The list, after the jump:

Tricycles Not Included. Have you been finding lately that life has become the kind of dull that comes from all work and no play? Perhaps what you need is a vacation. Fantastic Fest is holding a ball at Oregon's Timberline Lodge—aka the Overlook Hotel from The Shining—where fans of the Kubrick classic can dance away the evening in the Gold Room (no word on whether Lloyd the bartender will be on hand to serve cocktails), before retiring to one of the hotel's 50 rooms in a blood-flooded elevator. "Formal attire is mandatory, 20’s era formal attire is preferred. We will have special gifts for the best period attire of the night." [/Film]

Everywhere we've been around the LA Film Festival this week, the chatter du jour is either oversexed studio minions or how folks plan to spend their off-days during the increasingly inevitable-looking SAG strike. The latter conflict came into even sharper relief today in Variety, which published a SAG-AFTRA Bullshit Scorecard (hardly an improvement over our SAG Strike Mad Libs™, but whatever) breaking down the lies, celebrity endorsees and various other spin the unions are wielding in their steel-cage labor war:

• Was she depressed or just drunk? Months after Kirsten Dunst returned from rehab, she's now telling people she never suffered from alcoholism at all, and instead checked in to treat depression. Whatever you say. [Us Weekly]

After seeing these photos of Lara Flynn Boyle signing autographs at Mr. Chow last night, we're honestly wondering whether or not those fans even knew whose John Hancock they were requesting. Boyle, mostly remembered either for her crazy skin-and-bones years while dating Jack Nicholson or that flouncy ballerina dress she wore to the 2003 Oscars, is now under suspicion by the weeklies of going under one (or seven) wild surgery procedures. And while our before-and-after photos after the jump make their assertion difficult to protest, we're also wondering if this new look has anything to do with a little film she just completed called Life Is Hot In Cracktown.

If you haven't yet seen the bizarre Jack Nicholson ad for the Hillary campaign, well, feast your eyes on the video above, sure to be studied as the ultimate example of celebrity endorsements gone wrong by generations of poli-sci majors enrolled in "Hillary '08: Sketches In Failure." In it, a variety of trademark Nicholson psychopaths mumble vaguely pro-Clinton lines of out-of-context dialogue. (Good thing, too, as the line pulled from A Few Good Men, Gawker point out, is followed by the very un-presidential rumination, "Promote 'em all, I say, 'cause this is true: if you haven't gotten a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by.")