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In a shocking, dispiriting twist that will tear all our romantic hearts asunder, Page Six reports that the current Bachelor, Prince Lorenzo Borghese, may be more committed to upholding the show's proud tradition of aborted relationships than he is to the One True Love he was supposedly seeking. At an ASPCA event honoring Maria Menounos, which Borghese allegedly attended to promote a line of socially vital pet cosmetics that are guaranteed to make whores of your animals and turn him into at least a hundredaire, the Prince apparently couldn't keep his paws to himself.

The rascally Romeo... was "draping his arms around and flirting with women from the minute he arrived," said our appalled female spy. "Forget the dogs. Someone needs to put him on a leash."

Forgive us for wanting to faint at his impropriety, but we are just crushed . We're devastated that a guy of alleged royal blood and great fortune, who wants nothing more than to meet a true kindred spirit in front of a bunch of TV cameras (because he somehow hasn't met enough carnal mambo partners by using his princehood and money), would disrespect the sanctity of The Bachelor in this manner. If anyone next tries to tell us that the contestants on this past summer's Master of Champions were neither masters nor champions, we are going to lose faith in the world completely, retreat to a small corner of Idaho, and raise a brood of those kicky little mini-ponies.