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One day we will all be able to look back with a smile on the maelstrom of controversy that surrounded little David Banda, Malawi's most adorable demi-orphan, and the strange, leather-bodiced witch-lady who swooped in suddenly to spirit him away. (Perhaps it will require the part-time children's author adapting the entire series of unfortunate events into yet another whimsically illustrated bedtime story.) But as in all classic fairy tales, things tend to get darkest right before the "happily ever after" part, so it's somewhat befitting that the child's very much alive and increasingly media-friendly father has distressingly announced that he had never intended to give his son up permanently. From the NY Post:

"If we were told she wants to take the baby as her own, we would not have consented, because I see no reason why I should give up my son," said Yohane Banda, father of the 13-month-old, David Banda.

"I am just now realizing the meaning of 'adoption,' " said Banda, adding that he had expected Madonna to raise David for him but not keep him as her own. [...]

[H]e explained yesterday that at the time, he believed that "when David grows up, he will return back home to his village."

And so our original speculation—that Madonna had misunderstood the meaning of the Malawian word for "adoption"—turned out to not be the case at all. Rather, it was the senior Banda who was unclear on the terminology, surprised to find that "adoption" in fact implied a permanent transfer of custody, as opposed to, say, being a blanket legal term which refers to "the lending of a child to chameleonlike pop superstar for length of adolescence, upon which they shall be returned with newly acquired knowledge of horse-jumping techniques and hot trends in Parisian techno." Rest assured, however, that we have yet to hear the end of the story, as The Oprah Winfrey Show has announced an upcoming interview with Madonna—the go-to forum for anyone seeking a "let me explain to you how the shit has not hit the fan in quite the voluminous quantities as would initially have appeared"-style of high-profile damage control.