Kevin Federline, Britney Spears' former high-sperm-count fortune squanderer, is making a brave go of continuing to promote the debut album no one is buying, undeterred by the meal ticket he so cherished suddenly exploding into confetti and tumbling down around him in a celebration of his new, totally fucked existence. Meanwhile, publicity appearances we might have ignored, such as this TeenPeople.com interview shot last Friday in a New York hotel room featuring America's Most Hated barely able to mask his contempt for questions he's heard a thousand times before, are rendered rich with clues chronicling a divorce foretold.

Watch as Federline explains his mad skills at luring ho's with nothing more than a few "culinary lessons" and a properly seasoned tomato soup. Listen as he describes the super power he most covets ("strength"), and what he would do were he granted said power ("fly"). Learn that K-Fed is actually "an interesting dude" who just hasn't figured out how to make "millions of dollars" off his own name. Clearly, the exhausted rodent spinning the tiny wheel in his brain had been working overtime that night, cooking up worst case scenario contingency plans should the unthinkable come to pass.