eBay: The One-Stop Black Friday Destination For All Your Sociopathic Celebrity Shopping Needs
Rupert Murdoch may have gotten into the holiday spirit by ordering a good, old-fashioned book burning, but that hasn't stopped several leaked copies of If I Did It, O.J. Simpson's description of how he might have gone about committing the heinous crimes he pretends not to have done, from finding their way onto eBay. Both HarperCollins and the Brown family have taken legal measures to see that every copy be destroyed, but eBay reps insist typing "If I Did It" into a search bar isn't as easy as it looks:
At least three hardcovers of "If I Did It" - in which the disgraced football legend theoretically expounds on how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman - were sparking bidding wars.
An attorney for the Brown family accused eBay yesterday of dragging its feet on complying with the publisher's request to have the books removed from the site. [...]
A spokesman for eBay, Hani Durzy, insisted his company was trying to accommodate publisher HarperCollins' request to remove the books from the auction block. But he said with more than 100 million items on the site at any given time, it was difficult to quickly flag them.
Admittedly, our eBay browsing skills are not nearly as sharp as they were back in the summer of 2002, when we simply had to own every available example of Welcome Back, Kotter-themed macrame art in existence, but our preliminary research would seem to suggest that no copies of the book are currently available. Gawker does provide links to some Google-cached auctions, however, where bidders seemed all too willing to part with thousands of dollars in exchange for finding out "how he did it." (Answer: Messily, with a big knife. Save your money.) We'd hate to leave your Black Friday celebrity homocidal maniac shopping needs unmet, however, so instead, we guide you to a legitimate eBay auction for the URL www.BuyIfIDidIt.com, ensuring that anyone lucky enough to get their hot little hands on the must-have beach read of the winter can quickly turn a tidy profit, free from the heavily policed halls of eBay.