While elitist urban bloggers fret over what the “online gig economy” will do our nation’s future, most American’s don’t even know what the fuck “Uber” means.

As far as basehead mayor memorabilia goes, the tie Rob Ford wore when he admitted to smoking crack cocaine is hardly a museum piece. It is, however, something you can actually buy and own, one of several personal items Ford put on eBay Wednesday night.

So you bought an Olive Garden Never Ending Pasta Pass. We understand, and there's no reason to be embarrassed. The prospect of all those noodles—all that oil, all that sauce—was too tempting, but now, after a period of sober reflection, you realize you've made a mistake. Unfortunately for you, there's no turning back.

For the second year in a row, most of the profits from Kim Kardashian's charity eBay auctions appear to have gone to her favorite cause: herself. Radar reports that eBay tax documents from 2013 indicate Kim K pocketed as much as $400,000 selling her used outfits on the auction site, and donated just $44,000 to the ministry her mom founded.

Someone trying to prove a point about the nature and value of art—or about the remarkably steady birth rate of suckers (still approximately one per minute!)—has printed out a screenshot of a 4chan post and sold it on eBay for nearly six figures.

A 47-year-old man in Sussex invited prospective customers to check out the headlights on his rusted out 1990 VW hatchback and also his lifeless, khaki-clad model recently, when he borrowed ***A FRIEND'S*** high quality sex doll to advertise his car on eBay.

Welcome to The 12 Days of Thatz Not Okay, a special holiday edition of a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Check back tomorrow for our next seasonal installment. As always, please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Less than a week after the latest weapon-involved domestic violence charges against George Zimmerman were dropped at the behest of his victim-slash-girlfriend, the perennial troublemaker-slash-black-teen-killer is back in the headlines today, but this time he's showcasing his softer, more artistic side.

A teen dad is pissed after spending some $750 on what he thought was an Xbox One console for his four-year-old son, only to receive a photo of an Xbox One instead.

It's unclear what exactly this daughter did to make her mom this mad, but apparently something so bad that it warrants the worst punishment of known to teenage girls: Auctioning off her One Direction tickets.

When a prospective buyer began asking his wife for photos of her feet inside the shoes she was auctioning off on eBay, Redditor Ferenginar got a bit suspicious.

That's right: Schindler’s list, The iconic document used by German industrialist Oskar Schindler to safeguard the lives of over 1,000 Jews during World War II, is being sold to the highest bidder on the same website you use to track down ultra rare Beanie Babies.

Like many toddlers, 14-month-old Sorella Stoute enjoys playing with her dad's smartphone. What's not to like? An interactive screen, bright colors, probably some games. And, of course, the eBay app, which Sorella used to buy a 1962 Austin Healey when her father wasn't paying attention.

From reader John: a rotten, cling-wrapped Twinkie (a "scientific and historical curiosity") is yours for the bidding, starting at $25, less shipping.

An unnamed eBay seller from Oxfordshire has attracted bids well over £150,000 for her yellow ASOS skater dress after accidentally uploading a nude photo of herself to the auction site.

Paula Papen found her 8-year-old son using her iPad to mess around on eBay, so she did what any parent who doesn't mind scarring their children for life would do: She convinced him he'd accidentally purchased a $50,000 Ford Mustang and there was no way to cancel the sale.

Kim Ridley is unapologetic.

Some asshole tried to sell a James Holmes Halloween mask on eBay today. The initial bid for the mask, which was listed by user "realface13," was set at $500. By noon, eBay had deleted the posting.

Chances are if you wanted to read contemporary classic Fifty Shades of Grey, you would have read it already.

Don't you hate it when your wife asks you to get rid of some of your antique radios?