New words for a new year
NICK DOUGLAS — Every now and then, the language needs to scrap some words and replace them with better words — words like "Google delay" and "schteal." These and other better words follow.
Google delay: The four to twenty seconds of silence in an IM conversation after someone namedrops. Followed by "Her? Of course I'm familiar with her." The major variant is a "Wikipedia delay."
Amnemia: The loss of all memory tricks related to name recall, brought about after years of relying on Photobucket, Facebook and Google to look up all the names on the business cards one has collected. Amnemia manifests itself when one finally meets an "ungoogleable" and can be cured either by, well, learning to remember people, or more easily by snapping camphone shots of everyone one meets.
Schteal: To gank someone's schtick, like what this joke does to this joke.
Must-see Tivo: Rare moments on shows that are only Tivo'd in case of these moments. For example, Rosie's Ching Chong moment is Must-see Tivo for the View; Tom Cruise's blowup at Matt Lauer was the same for the Today Show. Tivo is not necessary for good shows, the entirety of which will always end up on Bittorrent, with highlights on YouTube.
Double-overbooked: Possessing a staggering multiplicity of commitments for one time frame, thanks to scheduling one on Google Calendar, one on Yahoo Calendar, one on the Blackberry, one in Outlook, one saved in webmail...
Lateroluddite: Someone who prefers a different form of communication than me. I use AIM and text messages because they're superior; you use Skype and MySpace messages because you're a lateroluddite.
Sarcass: One who won't stop ironically calling oneself "meta" or "citizen generated" to show how over those phrases they are.
This is an installation of Diggbait, a daily column by Nick Douglas, who also writes for Eat the Press. He likes robots, words, and White Russians.