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Things have been relatively quiet in the months since the international uproar that followed Madonna's adoption of a Malawi boy. The courts have opted to monitor little David Banda over a period of 18 months, scanning all the while for any areas for concern such as involuntary Vogueing or references to an "Auntie Donatella," whereupon a final decision will be made as to his permanent absorption into their clan. Meanwhile, the child's single, surviving parent, father Yohane Banda, has recently expressed concern over a lack of updates. Reports Reuters:

"I don't have her phone and mailing addresses. All I want is to find out how my son is but I don't know how I can do it," Malawi's Daily Times newspaper quoted Yohane Banda as saying.

"I only talked to her once at the High Court and I want to talk to her now and find out about my child."

Yohane has demonstrated in the past a deep inner conflict over his decision to sacrifice his only child so that the boy may have a shot at a charmed existence, with nights spent snuggled safely in a crib beneath a spinning disco ball mobile. But these most recent comments indicate that his expectations regarding his rightful involvement in David's life seem to have inched towards a delusional naïveté, as not even Madonna's closest and most trusted background dancers have her personal phone number; that's a privilege granted to a highly select few—mainly Kabbalic priests on speed dial, available 24/7 in case she needs to know what days Judaic numerologists would say make the holiest pilates schedule.