Because it's a holiday, we're loopy, and a bit bored-anxious. Maybe a little lonely! Definitely cold. Those are the circumstances which lead us to now publishing what we like to think of as The Most Useless Internal Email Thread In The History Of Gawker, In Which We Learn Who Is Efficient And Who Is A Complete Fucktard. (Hint! It breaks along gender lines!) The emails concern the naming of the new 'Vows" rating column, which will debut this afternoon.

SUBJECT: Which is better for Alexis's Vows column

From: Emily
 Diss A Vow or Vowie Zowie?
Or: your suggestion goes here

From: Choire
 Beheadings and Fellations.

From: Alex
 Furrowed Vows?

From: Emily
 Please, keep punning until you get down to the Vowt To Lunch level.

From: Alex
 DeVOWered!

From: Choire
 VOW, I LUV U!
VOW 'N' LATER.
A VOW TO A KILL.
A VOW TO ARMS.
THE VOWING FIELDS.
THE VOW STANDS ALONE.
RUMBLEVOWS.
ARE YOU THERE VOWS? IT'S ME, ALEXIS.

From: Alex
 Der Vow Angel
Vow and Fornever
The Vowtenance Divine
Big Ball in Vowtown

From: Choire
 vowbreaker.
vowanista.
voweywag.

From: Alex
 Vownity Fair
US Vows & World Report
Avownue
Vowsquire
Vowdar
The New York Review of Vows
Hustler (Vows)

From: Choire
 vowcaine
vowanol
crystal vow
vowoin
vowijuana

From: Alex
 The SuperVowl
The U.S. Vowpen
Vowbeldon
The PGVow Tournament
The World Series of Vows
Something about lacrosse and vows. And rape.

From: Choire
 Dr. Vowlittle
Eating Vows Is Wrong
Mrs. Vowaway
Heart of Vowsness
Sense and Vowsability
Lady Windermere's Vows
Vowslysses

From: Doree
 I think everything's been said, no?

From: Emily
 In the shower just now I realized that it should be Altarcations, because it is about battling to be the best wedding announcement.

From: Choire
 Well that was anticlimactic.