An unnamed publication or website is looking for the new Carrie Bradshaw! Except they're actually looking for the new Ted Casablanca. Or something. OMG, are you so excited to apply? Us too! If you like reading Us Weekly, if you can get into Marquee without paying (uh, they have a cover? We never noticed!), if you're a "regular" in the Meatpacking district, and if you have a headshot, they want you!

1) Do you read Us Weekly like monks read the Bible? 2) Are you a regular at the hotspots on 27th street and the Meatpacking district? 3) Can you get into places like Tenjune and Marquee without paying cover? 4) Do you have older, responsible people chastise you for wasting too much time drinking and going out too much? 5) Oh, and can you write?

If it's yes to all 5, we've got a unique, Carrie Bradshaw-esque gig for you.

We're looking for Nightlife Beat Writers. We're looking for funny, socially-active writers who dish on New York's nightlife scene. When possible, your write-ups should include celebrity spottings, and the ideal write-up will have a celebrity "scoop" of some kind. (i.e. you describe, with clean and snarky prose, how you saw Tara Reid strip off her tanktop at Room Service.)

At least once a week, you'll go out, and then file the story the next morning. Needs to be a tight turnaround. If you go out on Wednesday night and then give us the story on Friday, it's not current. (You'd have until Monday 9am to file Friday/Saturday night stories, though.) Also, when possible, please use a digital camera (or camera-phone, whatever) to snap some pics of the story. Doesn't have to be an obvious club on 27th St, of course, but it needs to be of interest to our national audience. (i.e. a story of you quietly drinking wine with your friends won't work.) The more glam the better.

Right! But surely, there are some other requirements for this glam position?

Again, it's critical that you are in the know. A working knowledge of key industry players (i.e. doormen, club owners, DJs) is a big plus. You need to be able to bounce from PM to Tenjune without calling our editorial office for hook-ups.

This sounds like a ridiculous, over-the-top statement, but it's true: this is a star-making gig. We want to showcase your writing, showcase your exploits, and tell the world about your 27th street debauchery. Terrific writing is a must. (And humor goes a long way.) Interested? E-mail us with:

1) a relevant writing sample
2) why you're qualified
3) head shot

Right. Head shot. Of course. Oh, and they're paying $50 per writeup.

Nightlife Writers Needed—We Want To Make You A Star [Craigslist]