Twitter used to solicit votes, hookups, crystal meth
Social connectivity site Twitter has so far not reported to parents any cases of the service being used by K-12 students to request immediate sexual intercourse during school hours. There also appears to be no connection between Twitter users and attempts to stuff the ballot box for the Vlog Hot poll, since all the vloggers on Twitter are losing in their respective poll heats; most likely, this means that all those on Twitter who say they're voting for friends, are lying. The code word for tonight's Adaptive Path party has been confirmed as "tacotruck." Still unconfirmed is the possibility that "tacotruck" is also neighborhood slang for an extremely polluted form of crystal meth also known as "peanut butter," so party attendees should under no circumstances mention both for fear of confusing the vendor.