Congratulations, Britney! Now you will be sober forever! [CNN]
On the 'Lindsay Lohan is still drinking' front: "The ostensibly now-sober actress lifted a glass containing a clear liquid, on the rocks, to her lips and took a long but effortful draught." Now we are convinced. [NYO]
Paula Abdul implied that Simon Cowell has a small ween. [Page Six]
The Bahamas Supreme Court ordered Anna Nicole DNA testing, and Larry Birkhead is happy. [Us Weekly]
Hot? Carmen Electra and Joan Jett will attend "lesbian prom" together: the Dinah Shore golf weekend. [Gatecrasher, last item]
Kevin Federline canceled a fancy birthday bash so that he could spend more time with his kids, not because he couldn't find a celeb weekly willing to sponsor it. Obviously. [Page Six]
