You know, at first we thought we would post all 75 pages of Melissa Dumas's proposal for This Used to Be My Playground, including the section entitled "Marketing: Nannies in the Zeitgeist" ("The interest in the world of Nannies has been a mainstay in film and television and literature as far back as 1937 when the original book, Mary Poppins by P. L. Travers was published. Since then, there have been an additional six books published as part of the Mary Poppins series, all of which remain in print today.") But then we realized that, despite the legal fears that we assume motivated Crown to decide to un-buy the book, there really is not that much good stuff in there. Like: Madonna is hard to work for! Kabbalah is weird! And other than that, the proposed book seems to actually be about Melissa Dumas and, who cares. However, there were a few interesting tidbits about the state of "M" and Guy Ritchie's union, though. Like most married couples, they rarely share a bed.

The second time Melissa meets Madonna, Melissa has just entered Lola's bedroom to find Guy Ritchie asleep in one of Lola's twin beds.

Suddenly a whirling dervish shot down the hall. It was Madonna, clad in a very brief bra and underwear set. I would learn that it was her habit, like Marilyn Monroe, to always sleep in a tight bra. Apparently even the small amount of conversation ... has been enough to awaken her. She flew into Lola's room and stood over Guy's bed, berating him at the top of her lungs. He woke up in a hurry. Lola slipped out and headed for the playroom, and Madonna slammed the door behind her. I couldn't make out her exact words—I didn't want to make out the words.

Sigh, if only someone who had wanted to make out the words had "written" this "tell-all."

Earlier: Madonna's Nanny's Book Proposal