Candy Spelling wrote an open letter to Paris Hilton about how to turn her life around. Later, Patty Hearst seconded her sentiments. [TMZ]
Lindsay Lohan bombed at the box office in Georgia Rule. Is this the end of being famous for being famous? (Hint: no.) [DHD]
Much-mourned 'Sopranos' casualty Drea de Matteo is maybe knocked up. [Page Six]
Donald Trump's granddaughter was born on Saturday and will soon be having playdates with her uncle Barron. [NYP]
"What lovable Hollywood heartthrob was doubly offensive at his recent premiere, where he groped a beautiful lady's posterior and later sent over one of his friends to ask her... well, we can't even find a euphemism for it." We have this sneaking quasi-psychic hunch that this little gob of random concerns Zach Braff and Julia Allison. Seriously. [R&M, last item]
An artist who paid $3,400 for a 30-second audience with Michael Jackson reports that he smelled of "ladies' powder." [NYM]
