Who could have imagined that a Lindsay Lohan DUI arrest (with the ever-popular "usable amount of cocaine" option), some embarrassing sleepy-time photos, and a hasty trip to Promises would generate so much media attention, even days later? We retreat into our defensive round-up posture to handle this morning's onslaught:

· This entrancing mash-up arrived in our inbox this morning. Never have sobering images of a young starlet's self-destruction been so soothing. [YouTube]
· The NY Times examines Lohan's prospects for future employment in Hollywood in the post-second-rehab era. Reminisces former studio head Nina Jacobson about the comparatively innocent days of Herbie: Fully Loaded, when warnings about her partying seemed almost cute: "I told her before the movie began, 'This is the moment in your career where you either become Kristy McNichol or Jodie Foster." At this point, McNichol might be a career-trainwreck upgrade. [NY Times]

· Never one to let an opportunity to talk about his estranged daughter go unexploited, born-again ex-convict dad Michael says that he approves of Promises' use of 12-step methodology. There is still no word on when mom Dina plans to show up with an ET camera crew for an exclusive status report on her child's recovery. [E! Online]
· Lohan could lose "hundreds of thousands of dollars in sponsorships for her upcoming 21st birthday party," as attaching one's name to an event in which a recovering addict can legally drink herself into oblivion suddenly doesn't seem like such a great idea. [Gatecrasher]
· A "stylist friend" (not Rachel Zoe, thankfully) says that Lohan is enjoying her drying-out time at Promises. "She's happy where she is and is just taking time to herself to learn and be okay." And: "She's doing really, really well." Probably because she's got a buzz going from Saturday night, which helps takes the edge off those totally annoying group sessions. [People]
· Lindsay Lohan laughs during a anti-drunk-driving PSA from two years ago, knowing even then how hilariously ironic her participation in such a project would one day seem. [TMZ]
· And here's a handy timeline covering the period between Lohan's Wonderland graduation and her later enrollment in graduate coursework at Promises. Fun! [UsWeekly.com]
· This is the point where we were crippled by waves of uncontrollable sobbing, wondering if the most talented actress of her generation will ever live up to the considerable promise she showed in that one scene in Mean Girls. [Defamer]