Cosmo recently unveiled some video games on its website that it hopes will prove irresistible to the legions of young women who turn to them for advice about what to do when their vaginas get sparkly. But one of them, "Boy Toy," is so moronic that we think you would have to be mid-lobotomy to get any sort of entertainment value out of it.

The description:

In this exclusive Cosmo game, our cute, sweet guy exists solely to serve you. That's right, you control what he does, and if he keeps you happy, then you win points in the game. Watch out for the skanky ex-girlfriend though!

This entails doing things like hanging out at a "bar" and going up to the bartender and getting drinks for the girl, then going to the DJ and requesting a lame song, and then coming back to your animatronic girlfriend who will not stop ordering drinks—seriously, is she supposed to be an alcoholic? We're disturbed. And then everything takes ages to load, and quite frankly, it made us long for the days when we could just pop Legend of Zelda into the Nintendo and be done with it. But if you want to cry about the fate of ladykind, then by all means, please, go play this totally idiotic game. You're guaranteed to feel dumber afterwards, which they don't mention, but it's true.

Boy Toy [Cosmpolitan]