We're a few hundred pages further into heiress-socialite Holly Peterson's The Manny, for which she received a million-dollar 2-book deal, and you know what about this book we are currently finding the most galling? Our heroine Jamie and her Manny, "Peter" (oh ha ha ha) have not done it yet. Like, AT ALL. What? Where does Plum Sykes get off calling this book "Lady Chatterly's [sic] Lover for the beach"? If we recall our middle school masturbation fodder correctly, that book had (vaginal, not clitoral!) orgasms on like page 20. The following excerpt is from page 235 of The Manny. As we begin, Peter is touching Jamie's hand.

Peter held my hand, rubbing my palm with his thumb. I hadn't felt a jolt like that since the tenth grade.

"You can dance, girl!" said Peter, laughing, as we steepled our arms and twirled underneath them.

Standing across from each other now, he kept my hands tight in his, caressing them with his thumbs and staring me down. All of a sudden, we stopped dancing. I pulled away, but he hung on tighter.

"Peter what are you doing?"

"I'm looking at you."

I could not believe he said that.

"You look so good right now. So good."

"Thanks." I had to downplay all this. "You're kind." He was surely a little loose from a couple of beers. That had to be it.

"Hey." He tilted my chin up with one finger. "Look at me. It's more than just being kind. You know that."

He pulled me closer. I looked around nervously and couldn't believe he had the guts to keep holding me like this. Thankfully, people around us danced and shielded us in the middle of the floor. "It's all okay, Jamie."

"It is?" His friends were now watching us from the bar. Again, I tried to pull away. One hand broke loose and as I pushed my hair back, I noticed my hand was shaking.

"Yeah."

I looked around us again; his friends at the bar were watching us, but no one else. Dylan was shooting pool with another kid his age.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Jamie?"

Oh God. He called me Jamie again. "I'm not sure."

"You're sure you're not sure?"

"Okay, well, maybe just a little." I couldn't help but smile. He was beyond irresistible.

"Just checking."

My knees felt weak.

Earlier: "Whoaa, The Manny Was About To Kiss Me!" (Note: he did not.)