"I was able to take problems of the soul and transform them into problems of art, to put on a disguise," Laura "JT Leroy" Albert whinged to unsympathetic Post scold Andrea Peyser. "I create like an oyster creates a pearl—out of irritation. Not to see itself on Paris Hilton's neck—and I'm not attacking her! Paris Hilton does not solve the problems of the spirit." But wait: Seriously, woman, what are you wearing?

Laura "Fat" Albert is all: "People responded to [a fake persona I manipulatively created for cash and prizes] with great love. We created a family. The essence of who you are comes through really strongly in your writing—like in those reality shows."

Snaps back Andrea: "It's hard to tell where the reality starts and the show ends." Okay, crazy Laura Albert: you just made Andrea Peyser seem rational! Eek! But back to your outfit. Not to contribute to the self-image problems that you blame for your fraudulent hoaxy "personality split," but that is some shit that would make Gwen Stefani on a bad day crossed with Bai Ling be like "Um, no thank you, kind of tacky and unflattering."

I Still Am The Real Leroy [NYP]