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Dear wives of New York: All the gays are so totally doing it with your husbands. New York magazine's David Amsden has the proof, having himself trolled Craigslist and Manhunt: "On any given day searching these sites, I found about 1,000 married, closeted New Yorkers online—certainly a fraction of the true population since most men in the closet don't identify themselves as such, even online." And that doesn't even count the guys from Jersey! That's real hard science you can believe in. (Our science says: there's 29 Craigslist M4M ads so far today that contain the word "married" and most of those are in search of married guys. But whatever.) Anyway, Amsden's profile of an anonymous married dude is actually a story about someone who's really depressed. ("I'm rarely happy, to be honest," says the guy. Bleak!) 75 mgs of Effexor a day, and he'll ditch his wife next week and realize that he's spent the last two decades being an idiot. Also? Apparently he slept with a now-famously-dead Park Avenue diet guru and even if it's not old Dr. Atkins that's still just wrong.

Married Man Seeks Same for Discreet Play [NY Mag]